


the comeback kids

by theonceandfuturecarpenter



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Olympics, F/M, Ice Dancers AU, Ice Skating, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26136481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonceandfuturecarpenter/pseuds/theonceandfuturecarpenter
Summary: aka the Damerey ice dance AU nobody asked for
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 65
Kudos: 67





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this idea for well over 2 years now, but I saw the random wave of ice skating AUs that were going up in this fandom and took it as a sign that I should just pull the trigger and write it already!
> 
> first time uploading a multi-chapter fic, so be patient with me as I figure out a release schedule for chapters. the first chapter is obviously a fair bit of set up, but we will get to that good Damerey content before you know it (cause I'll give you one guess at who Rey's new partner is gonna be).

They came in fifth.

Rey blinked back the tears that were brimming in her eyes, not wanting to smudge the already ridiculous smokey eye makeup that ringed them.

It was an Olympic year, and they just came in fifth at US Nationals. They weren’t going to be competing in Pyeongchang. They weren’t even going to be the first alternates.

A stray tear managed to escape and fall down the side of her face as she shoved her skates into her bag. She had worked so hard from the time she was a child, fueled by the dream of being able to say that she was an Olympic ice dancer. All those years, all those hours spent in the rink working on compulsory patterns until she couldn’t feel her feet anymore, all the days training in the weight room to get her body to peak performance, all bumps and bruises and injuries that she endured, and it still wasn’t enough. She wasn’t enough. She felt her heart crack in her chest as she watched her childhood dream slip through her fingers like grains of sand.

While the crushing weight of disappointment was overtaking her, she knew that her partner was most likely in the throes of a very different emotion. By that, she meant she knew that Ben was probably tearing up his locker room in a fit of unrestrained anger right about now.

Her suspicions were confirmed when he tore out of the room and into the hallway, eyes already burning with rage. Rage that was now barrelling her way at full speed.

“What the fuck was that, Rey?” he seethed through gritted teeth, “We had a legitimate shot at the Olympics, but you really had to go and fuck that up, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t fuck anything up, you were the one who fell out of your twizzles,” she continued focusing on packing her bag, even though he was so close now she could feel him breathing down her neck. The memory of him going down and hitting the ice hard still sent fresh waves of panic down her spine every time she replayed it in her head.

“I only fell out of that twizzle because you got too fucking close to me!” he spat back.

“We’re supposed to be as close as possible, we would have lost levels if we weren’t,” she responded matter of factly.

Ben suddenly brought his fist up and slammed it into the locker right next to Rey’s head with a loud and resounding bang. Rey jumped back with a startled yelp, and finally met Ben’s condescending stare.

“You were nothing when I found you, you know that?” he spat at her, “Nothing. No prospects, no future. I picked you out of obscurity to be my partner because I thought we could make it all the way to the top together.”

He looked her up and down, and Rey couldn’t help the way she shrank under his gaze.

“What a fucking disappointment,” he muttered under his breath.

Rey couldn’t stop the tears now. Her whole body shook as they flowed freely down her cheeks, undoubtedly smearing dark pigment all over her face, as if the embarrassment of the situation alone wasn’t enough as it is.

“We’re done here,” Ben stated coldly, slinging his own bag over his shoulder and turning away from her.

“What do you mean we’re done here?” Rey’s voice was watery and brittle as she called out to him.

He turned on his heel and stared her down. “I mean we’re done, for good. Find yourself a new partner.”

“Ben, please, no,” she pleaded, hating how small she sounded, “You know it’s not that easy, I won’t be able to find anybody else.”

“That’s not my problem,” Ben shrugged as he turned away from her once again, and stormed off.

“Don’t do this to me, please,” Rey pleaded again, “I can be better.”

He was already gone, leaving her alone in the cold and empty hallway. Rey collapsed in on herself as her whole body shook with heaving sobs. What was she supposed to do now? The fear began setting in as she realized she literally had nowhere to go. There was no way Snoke would take her in now, not with Ben dropping her like a hot rock. She was never under any false impressions when it came to her coach’s loyalties to his golden boy.

Within a matter of hours, she had gone from optimistic Olympic hopeful, to a has-been ice dancer with no partner or coaching prospects. Who would even think of taking her on?

“Hey, kid,” a gruff voice came from behind her that immediately made Rey’s whole body freeze.

“How much did you see of that?” she asked quietly.

“Enough to want to kick my son’s ass into next Tuesday,” the voice responded.

Rey turned to find Han Solo standing just a few feet away, hands shoved into his jean pockets. “You deserve better than to be treated like that,” he stated plainly.

Rey could feel the tears begin to well up behind her eyes again, and Han simply opened his arms towards her. She gratefully ran into them and he brought her into a tight hug, where her tears began flowing for the umpteenth time today.

“We’ve missed you, kid,” Han stated as she sobbed into his chest.

“I’ve missed you too,” she responded, voice watery once again.

“You can always come back, you know,” Han said, and Rey pulled back to meet his eyes, “To Yavin. We’ll always be there to welcome back to your home ice.”

“I can’t ask that of you and Leia,” Rey stepped back, wiping at her eyes, “Not after the way I just abandoned you guys for Ben.”

“You saw what looked like an opportunity to make it to the big leagues and you took it, neither of us can blame you for that,” Han responded firmly.

“I was being selfish,” Rey looked down at the floor.

“You were trying to make a smart move for your career,” Han stepped towards her, “Everyone wants to make it to the Olympics, and we always knew you had what it took to get there.”

“Clearly not,” Rey sniffled, eyes still glued to the floor.

Han gently lifted her chin with his finger and she met his gaze. “You and I both know that you weren’t the problem today. My son is talented, but his head is too far up his own ass to understand what it means to be a team. He failed you, not the other way around.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” Rey admitted quietly.

“Come back to Yavin,” Han pleaded, “We can’t promise that we’ll be able to find you a partner, but we can at least promise you a job and a place to go. You can teach some group classes, maybe a private lesson here and there, real easy stuff.”

“Are you sure?” Rey asked quietly.

“One hundred percent,” Han answered firmly, "You're too talented to not be on the ice in some way, shape or form."

Rey nodded her head. “Okay.”

“Great, we’ll see you on Monday, then?” Han asked.

Rey couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from her chest, “Putting me to work so quickly?”

“You know how Leia is,” Han shrugged, “The woman runs a tight ship.”

A smile spread across Rey’s face for the first time all day, “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

Han returned her smile with a charming, lopsided one of his own. A tinny alarm beeped on his wrist watch, and he scowled as he glanced down at it. “That’s my cue. We’ll see you bright and early on Monday morning.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Rey responded warmly.

Han gave her another gentle smile, “Glad to have you back, Rey.”

“Glad to be back,” she replied as he walked out of the building, leaving her alone once again in the hallway. Somehow, the space felt warmer than before, less confining as she felt the weight that had settled onto her chest begin to lift.

She slung her bag over her shoulder, and began walking to the exit of the building. Maybe she had lost today, but maybe she still had some sort of future to look forward to. Whether that future contained a partner, or a shot at competing again, she didn’t quite know yet. And despite the uncertainty of it all, Rey couldn’t help the lingering feeling that maybe, just maybe, she was going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey finally returns home to Yavin Ice, although her newest career choice isn't everything she had hoped it would be.

In many ways, Yavin Ice paled in comparison to the cutting edge facility that she trained at under Snoke. Where Ilum Ice was sleek lines and grey modern architecture, Yavin was worn teal carpet that frayed at the edges, and old letterboard signs for the snack bar that hadn’t changed its menu since the 80s. Where Ilum was cold and impersonal, Yavin was warm, full of character and life all its own. To Rey, walking back through its doors felt like being enveloped in a long overdue hug from an old friend. She was home again, even if she didn’t quite feel like she had earned the right to be there yet.

Coaching, however, wasn’t quite as warm or familiar to her as she would have liked. Sure, wrangling the groups of kids and making sure they didn’t throw themselves into the boards at full speed or otherwise injure themselves was relatively easy. It was the actual teaching part that stumped her from time to time.

Skating always came easy to Rey in a way that she was never quite able to understand. Even when she took her first few stumbling steps onto the ice when she was only 5 years old, it was clear she had a talent that cannot be trained into someone. At least, that’s what she overheard Leia say to her grandfather in hushed whispers when she was training as a kid.

So when a student asked her to explain the finer details of how to do a simple skill, Rey sometimes ended up at a loss for words. She couldn’t recall the last time she ever gave active thought to the mechanics of how she did it. She just knew how to do it, in the way one’s legs instinctively knew how to walk.

“It’s only been a few weeks, Rey, cut yourself some slack,” Rose said from her spot behind the weight bench where Finn was currently bench pressing a hefty barbell.

“I just feel like an idiot sometimes,” Rey responded, gazing out the window of the small gym that overlooked the ice rink.

“You’re not an idiot, you just have to get into the swing of things,” Rose stated, helping Finn lift the barbell back onto the rack above him. “Leg press, 20 reps, 3 circuits, go.”

“Are you trying to kill me today?” Finn huffed as he mopped the sweat from his forehead.

“I’m the trainer here, I make the calls,” she responded with a sweet smile. Finn rolled his eyes and dragged himself over to the machine to carry out her demands.

Rey kept her eyes on the class going on in the rink below her. It looked similar to the ones she taught, mostly comprised of 5 to 7 year old kids just taking their first forays into the sport. Only this class was being taught by Poe Dameron, who, unlike her, could not look more in his element as he coached.

She watched as one of the younger girls landed a shaky waltz jump, probably the first that she’s done without falling. She looked to Poe with a wide smile, and her coach excitedly pumped his fists in the air and skated over to her for a big high five. Rey couldn’t help but crack a small smile at the sight.

Everyone in the US ice dance field knew Poe’s story. Or, at least, the parts of it that were deemed most relevant to competition. He had spent 5 years partnered with Paige Tico, and they were a formidable team on the competitive circuit. Rey always quietly enjoyed the chance to watch them skate when they ended up at the same events as her and Ben. They skated with a fine balance of power and grace, especially Poe. He had a certain confidence that could pull you in and sell you on whatever program they skated, even when the performance was a little rough around the edges.

That was, until about a year and a half ago. The details became a little foggy as it traveled through the grapevine, but the basic story that was told went as such. Paige had been nursing a knee injury that refused to get better, and both her and Poe stubbornly refused to put a pause on their training. That was, until one day when Poe caught the wrong edge on the exit from a lift, sending both him and Paige falling awkwardly onto the ice at full speed. Paige’s knee blew out as she tried to catch herself on the way down. It was a career ending injury, one straight from Rey’s worst nightmare, at only 20 years old. Paige was forced to bow out of the sport, and Poe had been free floating without a partner ever since.

“How’s Paige doing, by the way?” Rey asked over her shoulder, still keeping her eyes on the rink below.

“She’s doing well!” Rose enthusiastically replied as she wiped down some of the gym equipment, “She started at Northwestern this past fall to finally finish up her undergrad.”

“What’s she studying?” Rey asked.

“Pre-med! She wants to become a physical therapist one day,” Rose answered. She pointed at Finn, who was once again trying to take a breather while she was distracted, “Deadlifts, 15 reps, 3 circuits.”

Finn could only lay melodramatically on the floor. “I can’t, I’m too exhausted.”

“Holdo wants you landing quads this season, we have to build your strength if we want that to even be a possibility,” Rose extended her hand out to him, which he gratefully took as she dragged him into a standing position once again.

“Holdo wants you landing quads?” Rey questioned, finally looking over her shoulder at her friends. Frankly, it was a miracle that she still had friends after the way Ben had tried to isolate her from everyone she knew after leaving Yavin, and she never let herself forget that fact.

Finn shrugged. “I need to be landing at least one or two consistently if I want a shot at medalling this year.”

“Have you started your programs already?” Rey asked, “It’s only March.”

“We started on the short, still working on finding something I like for the free,” Finn responded.

“You’re lucky you skate singles, picking music when you have a partner to deal with can be a nightmare,” Rey grimaced.

“Neither your short or free programs are going to be done unless you have the strength to execute them,” Rose stated matter of factly, “Deadlifts, then we’ll be done for the day, promise.”

Finn glared at his trainer, who returned his death stare with a sweet smile. He rolled his eyes once again, and got to work on his last exercise for the day.

Rey turned back to the window to gaze out at the ice. It looked like the class Poe was teaching was wrapping up, and all the kids were filing out of the rink, all giving their coach enthusiastic high fives on the way out. Rey felt an ache in her chest that she couldn’t explain as she watched over them. Was it because she knew she wasn’t as good a coach as she had hoped to be? Or was it because she knew that, regardless of whether she was any good at it or not, this was most likely all that was left in her future now?

Or maybe, just maybe, she saw those ecstatic and excited kids, and knew deep down that she couldn’t remember the last time she felt the same unbridled joy while on the ice?

She watched as the last student happily high fived Poe and waddled off the ice. Poe gazed over the now empty rink, but didn’t make any moves to take advantage of the rare moment of free ice. Strange, Rey thought, as she tried to study his face from her vantage point. And for a minute, she could have sworn that she saw his usually bright smile falter a little bit as he took in the broad expanse of ice. What was it that had just crossed his expression? Exhaustion? Fear? Sadness?

Rey didn’t get to deliberate on it for very long, though. Poe quickly looked down and shook his head as he turned away and exited the ice, swinging the door shut behind him as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: that part where Rey doesn't know how to explain skills to students literally happened to me in a group skating lesson once. my teacher looked at me and said "I don't know, I've been doing it for so long, it just happens."
> 
> the ball is officially rolling on this story, folks! writing has mostly been an outlet for my anxiety lately, and a good one at that, so I'll just be releasing chapters as I write em. no strict schedule here. see you soon with the next chapter! enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting, a bet, and an unexpected connection finally brings Rey and Poe together.

There was a photo wall towards the entrance of the rink which was meant to greet guests as they entered the building, although one would risk passing over the dozens of yellowing photos in chipped wooden frames due to how unremarkable they looked at a distance. Up close, however, it became clear that these photos were anything but unremarkable.

The biggest photo on the wall was of Leia and Han, standing atop the ice dance podium at the 1988 Winter Olympics, eyes bright and beaming as they held up their gold medals. Another frame held Luke Skywalker with his gold medal from the same Olympics, which was hung side by side with another shot of him with his other gold medal from the 1992 games. It was quite the media sensation when Luke and Leia ended up on top of the podiums of two different figure skating disciplines at the same Olympic games, apparently, with many news outlets dubbing them “The Wonder Twins” - a name which was still jokingly thrown around the rink, always to be met with a withering glare from Leia and a soft chuckle from Han.

Rey found herself staring at these photos in her off time, just as she did when she was a child. They had always lit a fire under her ass as a kid, and she would force herself to look at them whenever she had a particularly rough day training, to remind herself of why she was doing this in the first place. She wanted to be Luke and Leia and Han, standing victorious atop that podium and knowing she had made something of herself.

But now, when she gazed upon the aging photos, Rey didn’t feel the same ambitious spark that she felt when she was younger. Instead, a lukewarm feeling of apathy settled into her chest. Her eyes lingered on the picture of Luke in 1992, his eyes so bright and full of hope, and a pang of sadness and guilt hit her heart like a bullet.

She quickly averted her eyes from the photo, and they unwittingly landed on a picture of Ben Solo, probably no more than 3 or 4 years old at the time. His parents are standing on either side of him, each holding one of his hands steady as he waddles onto the ice for what looks to be the first time. She leaned forward to examine the photo, even though she knew she’d probably looked at it hundreds of times before. Leia and Han’s proud smiles and the curious, innocent wonder on Ben’s face is nearly too much to handle for her.

“You know, I never understood why he insisted on ice dance,” a voice came from beside her.

Rey straightened up and whipped her head around in surprise, to find Poe Dameron standing right next to her, eyes fixed on another photo.

“What do you mean?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“I mean, look at him,” Poe pointed to a photo of a gangly, prepubescent Ben on the ice, “He was probably taller than I am now when this picture was taken.”

“And?” Rey prodded, crossing her arms in front of her.

“And all that height would have made him better suited for pairs skating, in my opinion,” Poe gestured to the photo again, “Lord knows he has more raw strength than control, or elegance, for that matter.”

“You know I skated with him for 4 years, right?” Rey turned to him, unable to stop the irritated and defensive tone that crept into her voice.

“I do,” Poe finally turned his head to look at her, and had the audacity to smirk in response to her thinly veiled anger, “And if anyone should know that I’m right, it’s you.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him, unwilling to admit that she knew deep down that he was, in fact, completely correct in his assessment.

“I don’t think we’ve properly met before,” he thrust his hand out in front of him, “I’m Poe.”

Rey took his hand in a firm handshake, “Rey.”

“I know,” he responded, nodding his head at her.

Rey couldn’t stop her brows from furrowing in equal parts confusion and surprise.

“We’ve been at some of the same competitions in the past,” he elaborated, as if reading her mind, “I’ve watched you skate quite a few times.”

“You actually watched me skate?” she asked, once again genuinely surprised that anyone would take interest in doing so.

It was now Poe’s turn to furrow his brow in confusion, “Why wouldn’t I? You’re pretty damn good at it.”

He gestured to the same picture of Ben, “Him, though? Not so much.”

Rey felt another wave of anger wash over her at his words, “Ben is a talented skater, and I think we did pretty well for ourselves, thank you.”

“He has some natural talent, I’m not saying he doesn’t,” Poe defended himself, “But you were way out of his league, Rey, everyone and their mother knows that. You deserved a partner who could actually keep up with you. Or at least one that knows how to get through a twizzle sequence without falling on his ass.”

Rey could almost feel something snap inside her. “So what, you think you could do better?” she spat at him, crossing her arms angrily.

Poe put his hands on his hips and leaned towards her, “Well, now that you mention it, yes. Yes I could.”

“Get off your high horse and prove it, then,” she responded, “Grab your skates, meet me on the ice in 5.”

His air of arrogance immediately deflated at her words. “What?” he asked, face falling.

“We’ve got 40 minutes until the next class starts,” Rey pointed to the clock on the wall, “The rink is free right now. So get your skates, get your ass on the ice, and let’s see if you can put your money where your mouth is.”

She pushed past him, anger still rolling off her in waves. Why had she gotten so defensive of Ben, of all people? He had treated her like shit for 4 years and then tossed her aside like she was nothing. It’s not like he had given her any real reason to defend his honor.

She tried to push away the impulse to self analyze as she stepped out onto the empty ice. Poe finally walked into the rink with his skates slung over his shoulder, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, and a slightly frustrated look on his face.

“You’re serious about this?” he called out to her.

“Of course I am,” she responded as she stroked around the ice, “Hurry up, we only have a half hour!”

Poe shook his head and plopped down on the bench to lace up his skates. He finally joined her on the ice a few minutes later, hands still shoved into his pockets.

“Okay, so what exactly do you want me to do here?” he asked, voice already laced with exasperation.

“I’m assuming you know all the compulsory pattern dances?” Rey questioned, not looking at him as she warmed up her forward edges.

“They’re called compulsory for a reason,” he responded, deadpan.

“Great!” she exclaimed with fake enthusiasm that she knew would grate on him, “Pick one, and we’ll skate it together.”

Poe rolled his eyes. “Don’t I get a chance to warm up a little bit too?”

Rey smiled and thrust her hand towards him, “Only if you warm up with me.”

Poe glared in response.

“What?” she asked with faux innocence, “The question at hand is whether you make a better partner than Ben. How can I judge that unless I skate with you?”

Poe huffed and took her hand in his. Rey couldn’t help but smirk to herself, feeling like she had successfully called his bluff. There was no way he was going to be the one to keep up with her.

But, as the two of them stroked around the ice together, she was surprised to find that she and Poe actually fell into step together quite well. He was only a few inches taller than her, meaning their legs had the same amount of reach with each stroke; she no longer had to push twice as hard or stretch uncomfortably to keep up as she had to with Ben.

He also kept up with her in terms of speed, even sometimes giving her a sideways glance as he pushed faster, daring her to try to keep up with him. She would respond in kind, trying to lap him by only a few inches at a time, until he pushed forward and did the same. Soon, the two were zooming around the rink together, hands still linked.

Rey had to admit to herself - she was having fun. It felt like flying, the type of breathless freedom that she reveled in as a child when she first discovered the ice. She glanced over to find that Poe’s frustrated expression had melted away, giving way to a small smile and a glimmer in his eyes that she hadn’t seen since his competition days.

“Warmed up enough yet?” Rey asked as they finally slowed to a stop.

“I think so,” Poe responded, “Any pattern dance I want?”

“Any pattern dance you want,” she confirmed.

“Ravensburger waltz,” he stated, seemingly without a second thought.

“A waltz?” Rey couldn’t help the surprise that crept into her voice, “I didn’t take you for a waltz type of guy.”

“What can I say? I love the classics,” he shrugged, and then offered his hand to her.

She took it, and followed him to the starting position.

“Fair warning, I may be a little rusty,” Poe shook out his arms before offering them to her in the waltz hold position.

“I think we’ll be fine,” Rey stepped towards him and met him in the hold, squaring out her shoulders as she ran through the pattern in her head.

She felt Poe take a deep breath, and then quietly began counting, “One, two, three, one, two, three…”

And they were off. Rey had expected him to be shaky, as per his warning, but Poe surprised her once again. Despite his year away from competition, his technique was solid, as was his speed, and the two flowed through the pattern as if it was the hundredth time they’d done so. She’s sure there are areas where their edges could have been deeper, or their free legs straighter or toes more pointed, but the way they quickly molded to each other was not something she had anticipated when she proposed this challenge. Connecting with Poe felt as natural and easy as breathing.

They came to the end of the pattern, and Poe let out a deep breath she didn’t know he had been holding. He smiled at her as he dropped their hold, and Rey acutely felt the loss of their physical connection.

“Well?” Poe asks, eyes still glimmering, “How’d I do?”

Rey suppressed a smile of her own, “One more pattern to be sure that wasn’t a fluke, my choice this time.”

Poe let out a melodramatic sigh, and Rey couldn’t help the smile that split her face. She felt lighter than she had in months, maybe even years.

“What’ll it be?” he asked.

She leaned towards him, a daring look on her face, “Finnstep.”

“Damn it, I was hoping you wouldn’t say that!” Poe exclaimed, “Nobody likes the finnstep!”

“It’s my favorite!” Rey defended her choice.

“Of course it is,” Poe dragged his hands down his face, and then shook his arms out once again before extending his hand to her again.

She took it with a grin, and he once again led her to the starting position. They once again assumed the closed hold position, and Rey began counting under her breath.

Their finnstep was slower and a little shakier than their waltz, but Rey didn’t care. She was having fun on the ice, for what felt like the first time in her adult life. She laughed as they skidded to a stop, perhaps a little too fast, leading her to stumble a bit until Poe brought his arms underneath hers to catch her before she hit the ice.

“Woah there, Kenobi,” he said as he hauled her back onto her feet, “Don’t go hurting yourself.”

“You’re not the only one who’s a little rusty here, Dameron,” she retorted, still smiling despite her near fall.

“I think we did pretty alright for a couple of old rust buckets,” Poe stated, the apprehension that had followed him onto the ice having disappeared entirely, “But you know what we still need to test?”

Rey furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Wasn’t she the one who was supposed to be testing him?

“Lifts,” Poe stated, before sweeping Rey up into a simple bridal hold.

Rey let out a yelp of surprise as she clasped her arms around his neck, all too familiar with this lift - the first that Leia teaches to all her young, aspiring ice dancers. She laughed into the crook of his neck, feeling like a child again, as he freely spun them around the ice.

Poe finally went to put her down when a steady clapping echoed through the cavernous rink, bringing the two of them crashing back down to reality. Leia stood at the boards, eyes intently trained on them as if they were mischievous kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

“You two aren’t half bad together,” Leia called out as Rey and Poe jumped apart, “Though that finnstep needs some serious work.”

“We were just messing around,” Rey called back, straightening out her jacket. “Nothing serious.”

There was a pause as Leia eyed her, then Poe, over the rim of her glasses.

“That’s a shame,” Leia shrugged, “You two would make a good team.”

“I guess that means I was right,” Poe muttered to Rey under his breath. Rey swatted at his arm in response.

“Would you ever consider it?” Leia inquired, leaning forward onto the boards, “Skating together as a team?”

At that, Rey froze. She had wanted to return to competition, sure, but she didn’t expect to be asked point blank so soon. Especially not about skating with somebody she had only just met. She turned to Poe, hoping to find some direction, only to find him even more frozen in place than she was.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Rey said, eyes still trained on Poe, hoping for some sort of body language that would communicate something, anything, to her, “I think we’d have to think about it.”

Leia shrugged, “Alright, just let me know whenever you make up your mind.”

She turned on her heel to leave the rink when the gravity of what Leia had said finally hit Rey like a ton of bricks.

“You’re serious?” Rey called out to her, causing Leia to turn back to face her, “You actually want us to skate competitively together?”

“We’re entering a new quad, and Team USA needs its next generation of great ice dancers,” Leia called back, “I think with a little bit of time and a whole lot of hard work, you two could have have the potential to lead that new pack.”

“And you’d train us?” Poe asked, finally snapping out of whatever stupor he was under.

“Of course I would,” Leia responded, smirking, “You need the best to get to the top, after all.”

Rey and Poe turned to one another, eyes wide. This was real. Holy shit, how was this real?

Leia kept smirking and pushed her glasses up her nose, “Think about it, and let me know if you’ll take me up on the offer. But for now, get the hell off the ice; classes start in five minutes.” And with that, she walked through the doors, and left them alone in the rink once again.

"Should...should we talk about this?" Poe stuttered after a few moments of silence.

"Oh uh," Rey turned to her maybe future partner, "I have to teach one of those classes."

Poe nodded, clearly still a little rattled by Leia's blunt proposal, "Okay, I uh, I guess we'll talk about it later?"

Rey simply nodded her head, also admittedly shaken a bit and wondering how the hell she was going to find the focus to teach children right now.

"Okay," Poe nodded back, "I'll see you around, then."

He skated to the boards with a dazed look on how face, slipped the skate guards onto his blades, and walked back to the locker room. Rey looked around at the empty rink, wondering if this day was some sort of fever dream that she just hadn't woken up from yet.

What the fuck just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for any of my die hard ice dance fans: I know no North American ice dance teams won Olympic gold til Virtue and Moir won in 2010 but shhhhhhh we're just gonna ignore that for the sake of this canon)
> 
> and they finally meet! and skate! oh, the magic of it all!
> 
> now I'm not a trained ice dancer or anything, just a huge fan, so if I botch any of the minutiae of training and skating pls be forgiving.
> 
> but I hope ya'll enjoyed! I've literally had this scene envisioned in my head for years now, so it was good fun finally getting to write it out. see you for the next chapter! I wonder what their decision will be!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe make their decision about Leia's offer.

The rest of the day went by in a haze for Rey, as her mind found itself unable to wrap around the proposition Leia had sprung onto her. Well, had sprung onto her and Poe. She wasn’t sure about her own readiness to return to competition, and she had only had one conversation with her prospective partner to date; she was completely in the dark when it came to knowing where he stood right now. Were either of them ready to make such a leap of faith?

“Are you doing okay?” Finn’s voice startled her out of her own thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she plastered on a fake smile that she hoped would sell him on the lie, “Just a rough class this afternoon.”

Based the concerned look on Finn’s face, he wasn’t buying what she was selling.

“Really! I’m fine!” she tried to reassure as she pulled her bag from her locker, “One of the kids had trouble landing a toe loop, and I couldn’t really explain what he was doing wrong or how to fix it. Just a little embarrassed by it all.”

At that, Finn’s face softened. To be fair, what Rey had told him wasn’t a complete lie, just a retelling of something that had actually happened a week or two ago. Something that had, indeed, left her sitting in the locker room on the verge of tears from sheer embarrassment.

“Peanut, you can’t beat yourself up so hard,” Finn reached out and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, “You’ve never done this before, of course there’s going to be some trial and error before you figure it out.”

“I’ve been working at it day in and day out for a month, Finn, and it hasn’t gotten any easier,” Rey responded, “I’m just not totally convinced that this is what I should be doing right now.”

Finn let out a gentle sigh. “Just give it some more time.”

Rey nodded and he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he said as he hauled his bag onto his back.

Rey nodded again, and Finn gave her a soft smile before turning to leave the locker room.

“How are your programs coming?” Rey blurted out, “Did you find the right piece for your free?”

Finn turned around and smiled again, although this one was much more excited, “Yeah, yeah I did.”

“How did you know it was right?” Rey prodded further.

“You know that feeling when a piece of music just flows through you?” he explained, “That strange experience when something so external clicks with you internally, and it just feels natural to move along with it?”

“Yeah,” Rey’s chest ached for the feeling Finn described, “Yeah I do.”

“That’s how I knew it was the right choice,” Finn confirmed simply, “I think this is going to be a good season, I can feel it.”

“It will be,” Rey confirmed, “I know it.”

Finn continued smiling, “Goodnight, Peanut, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight,” Rey called out to him as he left her alone in the locker room. She stared down at her own bag, and the Yavin Ice branded jacket that all instructors were required to wear that sat inside stared back at her. She forcefully zipped the bag shut, slung it over her shoulder, and threw open the doors that lead her to the lobby.

Rey scanned the area for a certain head of messy, dark curls, only to find what she was looking for standing right outside the doors that lead into the building. She marched through the doors into the chilly night air, and approached Poe before she had a chance to lose her nerve.

“I want to compete again,” she rushed out, startling Poe from whatever he was staring at on his phone, “It wasn’t my choice to stop competing, and there is still so much I want to do before I retire, and I miss picking out music and piecing together programs and just creating something that I can feel proud of, and I feel like I’m suffocating under the weight of it all. I’m fucking suffocating here.”

She took a shaky breath in, and released it as slowly as possible as she tried to calm all of the emotions that were rushing out of her like water from a burst dam. “I want to take Leia up on her offer. I don’t know where you’re at, or if you feel the need to return like I do, but that’s where I’m at.”

Poe took a deep breath as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

“Rey, I have been absolutely fucking miserable this past year,” he stated plainly, “I’m not sure if you’ve been able to pick up on that, given that you’ve only been here a few weeks, but ask anyone around here and they’ll tell you the same thing.”

Poe held Rey’s gaze intently. “I miss competing. I miss skating. I miss feeling alive, like I’m not just trying to fill the hours between waking up and going to sleep.”

“So are you in?” Rey asked, still holding his gaze, “And I want you to really think about that, are you in? Not just for the fun days when things are going right. But for the days where you feel miserable dragging yourself out of bed at 5 AM for training but do it anyways. For the days where you can’t stop falling on your ass for some reason and end up covered in bruises. For the days where you want to tear your hair out in frustration because a piece of choreography just isn’t clicking with you. Are you in for all of it? With me?”

“Rey, skating with you today was the first time in a long time that I felt something that wasn’t just sadness or apathy,” Poe stated with such candor that struck Rey to her core, “If I have to cover myself in cuts and bruises and stop eating carbs altogether, then so be it. I’m in.”

Rey’s face split into a wide, giddy smile. “So we’re actually going to do this? Kenobi and Dameron?”

“Representing the United States of America, Rey Kenobi and Poe Dameron!” he yelled out, mimicking the obnoxious announcers present at every competition.

Rey couldn’t help but giggle as the reality of the situation finally set in and became tangible. They were actually going to hear those words, over a loudspeaker, at competitions. Because they were going to compete again. They were going to compete again, as a team. She looked over at her partner, and found that his giddy smile matched hers.

Poe checked the watch on his wrist, “Come on, Leia should still be in her office.” Rey readjusted the bag on her shoulder and followed him as they rushed through the lobby.

They both burst into the door of Leia’s office, too excited to consider politely knocking first. Leia merely eyed the two of them, bemused, as they rushed in at the same time.

“So I take it you’ve considered my offer?” Leia asked, pulling her glasses from her nose and placing them onto her desk.

“Yeah,” Rey said breathlessly as Poe nodded his head vigorously, “We’re in.”

“Great,” Leia replied, “Be on the ice at 6 AM tomorrow for your try out.”

“Try out?” Poe questioned, “You never said anything about a try out.”

“I saw you do two dance patterns and one novice level lift,” Leia responded matter of factly, “I’m going to need to see a little more than that to gauge where you two are at.”

Rey looked to Poe with apprehension, and he could only respond with a nervous shrug of his own.

“Alright, we’ll be there,” Rey confirmed, her voice less enthusiastic than before.

“Good,” Leia picked up her glasses and slid them back onto her face, “Oh, and do you both still have your Team USA jackets?”

They both nodded. “Bring them with you, just in case,” she requested, almost as an afterthought. And with that, she turned her attention back to whatever was on her laptop.

Rey and Poe walked out of the office, both decidedly less giddy than when they had walked in. Just as the excitement of competing together had become very real very fast, now, so had the work that needed to be done to get them into competition shape.

“What happens if we fuck it up tomorrow?” Rey asked no one in particular as Poe paced the hallway, "What if we lose our chance?"

“Hey, come on, we aren’t gonna fuck it up,” Poe responded, finally stopping in front of her, “We’re going to need a bit of work to get us back in shape, sure, but this is just the first step to get there, right?”

Rey nodded weakly, still not entirely convinced of what he was saying.

“And we’re in good hands, right? Leia isn’t going to let us just fall to the wind,” Poe continued reassuring, “We both started with Leia, and we’re gon-”

“Leia wasn’t my first coach,” Rey cut him off, “Luke was.”

Poe’s stressed expression gave way to one of confusion.

“Have you ever wondered the reason he stopped coaching out of the blue?” Rey raised her hand and waved, “Hi, you’re looking at it.”

Rey looked down at her shoes, unable to look Poe in the eye. “What are you talking about?” he questioned.

“When Ben left to be trained by Snoke, he did so with some very...choice words for his uncle,” Rey admitted in a small voice, “Ben told him that his gold medals were a fluke, and that he was a hasbeen that was doing nothing as a coach except holding him back from his true potential.”

Rey took a deep inhale, trying to steady herself as she steeped herself in the painful memory, “And when it came down to it, I was left with a choice. Stay with Luke, or leave with Ben. And we all know how that went, don’t we?”

Rey finally looked up at Poe, and saw a gentle, if pitiful, understanding in his eyes where she expected to find disdain or anger.

“That was the final nail in the coffin, I think,” she looked down again and scuffed the ground with her foot, “Heard he stopped coaching, or stepping into the rink at all, soon after that.”

A moment of silence hung between the two of them. Rey continued gently scuffing her shoe against the carpet, unable to think of what else to do after laying bare one of her most painful memories to someone she barely knew.

“Rey, we all make mistakes, especially when we’re just kids,” Poe spoke in a surprisingly gentle tone, “All we can do is try our best to learn from them.”

Rey looked up at him again, and found the same concern and understanding in his expressive eyes. She nodded her head wordlessly, even if she didn’t quite process what he was saying. She just didn’t want to open this can of worms any further than she already had.

“We’re going to kill it tomorrow,” Poe reassured, his voice a little lighter and more encouraging, “Kenobi and Dameron?”

He held out his fist to her, and she gave a half smile as she lamely fist bumped him back.

“Kenobi and Dameron,” she confirmed, and Poe gave her a bright smile in return.

“Get some sleep tonight,” he told her as he began walking backwards out of the hallway, “I’ll see you bright and early, partner!”

“See you then,” she called out as he turned on his heel and walked away. Rey let out a deep sigh, and pushed herself off the wall and tried to shake off the weight of the conversation. The past was in the past, and that’s where it needed to stay. Tomorrow was a new start, one that she was ready and excited to dive face first into.

Kenobi and Dameron, she thought to herself with a small smile. It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah, they decided to skate together??? who could have seen that coming????
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter, folks! next one will probably be up in about two weeks, I apologize in advance for the delay! I think it's gonna be a big boi and work is ramping up for me, so I'll really have to squeeze in time to write it when I can. see ya'll then!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe complete their try out, with a few unexpected surprises along the way.

Rey didn’t sleep a wink that night. It felt as though her brain was running itself into a brick wall over and over again as it attempted in vain to process the past 24 hours. Where was she even supposed to begin? Her mind would pull at one thread, and then another, and then another until she was tangled up in one giant web of uncertainty that left her staring into the blank void of her ceiling for hours. She wondered if Poe was mirroring her somewhere, tossing and turning under his sheets, steeping himself in his own anxiety.

Rey didn’t know. She couldn’t know a single thing about him, realistically, given that she had only shook his hand for the first time only 12 hours ago. He was practically a stranger.

Yet, despite the logical facts of the situation, Rey felt an inexplicable connection to Poe. Maybe it was because their first interaction was like looking into a mirror for Rey; she saw all her own stubborn and hardheaded tendencies in the way he spoke and carried himself. And she recognized the weary exhaustion and sadness that had settled deeply into his eyes, despite how hard he tried to hide it with his bright smile.

How could she miss it? It was the same fatigue that colored her every movement, and made it hard to look herself in the mirror most days.

The alarm finally blared, bringing a merciful end to her pathetic attempt at sleep. She went through her morning routines on autopilot, unable to disengage her brain from its self destructive feedback loop.

The cold air of the empty rink finally shocked her back into reality as she shouldered the door open. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe in and steady herself as she ran through her basic warm up stretches, allowing the stinging cold that hit her face to ground her to the present moment.

She was snapped out of her half-hearted attempt at meditation by the sound of Poe plopping down heavily onto the bench next to her. He ran his hands through the mess of curls on top of his head and let out a dramatic sigh as he yanked his skates from his bag.

“And good morning to you too,” Rey greeted him sarcastically, trying to lighten both their moods in the process.

“Never was much of a morning person,” Poe responded, voice flat, “Learn that now.”

“You skated competitively for five years and never got used to early mornings?” Rey poked fun at him.

Poe shoved his foot into one of his skates and glared at her. 

“I love mornings,” she smiled as she sat down next to him and pulled out her own skates, “Something so invigorating about a brand new day, right?”

He continued to glare. She continued to smile. He stuck his tongue out at her like a child, and then turned his attention to lacing up his boot. This exchange between the two of them was quickly becoming familiar to her.

Poe stepped out onto the ice as she finished lacing up her own skates.

“How are you feeling about this bullshit try out?” he called out to her as he idly stroked around the rink.

“Terrified,” Rey responded bluntly, but honestly, “You?”

“Scared shitless,” Poe responded with similar candor, “I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

Rey took off her skate guards and met him at center ice where he stood, unmoving, his hands shoved into his Team USA jacket pocket.

“What happened to the loudmouthed man who told me that he would be the ideal skating partner?” Rey asked, “Where’d that confidence go?”

“What happened to the stubborn woman who told me to get my ass on the ice and put my money where my mouth is?” Poe met her eyes with a piercing and knowing gaze, “Where’d that confidence go?”

“Touche,” Rey acquiesced, digging her toe pick into the ice.

“Loudmouthed, really?” Poe asked, with a hint of amusement in his eyes, “That’s just rude.”

“At least we’re stubborn loudmouths together,” Rey poked at his boot with her skate, “Kenobi and Dameron, right?”

Poe smiled a little bit at that, and Rey could feel her lips quirk upward too. He returned her gesture by gently kicking at her boot with his own skate.

The door to the rink opened with a loud thud, and Rey’s back involuntarily straightened as a wave of adrenaline crashed into her nervous system.

She looked towards the doorway to find Leia, perfectly put together even at this ungodly hour, closely trailed by a figure she couldn’t quite make out at this distance. Weird, Rey thought, Leia hadn’t mentioned that anyone else would be sitting in today. Maybe it was Han? But Han didn’t coach, he was content running the rink as far as she knew.

Rey’s heart stopped as the figure came into focus. The face that stared back at her was older than she remembered, definitely more wrinkles around the eyes and a scraggly beard now adorning the chin, but she would recognize it anywhere.

“Luke?” Rey choked out as a flurry of emotion that she couldn’t even begin to decipher crashed into her like a truck. 

“Nice to see you again, Rey,” Luke responded, eyes still warm and gentle as she had remembered.

“I-” Rey tried in vain to form words, “I don-”

She looked to Leia, whose face was unreadable. Was this some sort of twisted joke?

“I, I can’t”, Rey’s voice was watery, “I don’t...I don’t deserve thi-” Her voice broke, despite her best efforts. Being faced with one of her deepest, most painful regrets in person was too much for 6 AM on a Tuesday morning. She began pushing herself towards the exit, unable to bear this unexpected weight that had been thrust upon her. 

Luke stepped onto the ice in only his worn tennis shoes to block his former student from leaving as Rey’s brain continued to glitch like a computer on the verge of crashing. She stopped reluctantly, forcing herself to meet his gaze through the collection of unshed tears that was quickly forming in her eyes.

“I’m only going to say this once, so I want you to listen closely,” Luke stated, gently laying his hands on Rey’s shoulders, “Can you promise me you’ll do that?”

Rey nodded and Luke looked her intently in the eyes.

“You were not the reason that I left,” Luke declared firmly, and Rey couldn’t help the sob that shook her chest, “I know that’s probably what you’ve been telling yourself the past 4 years, but it’s not based in fact. We’re all faced with choices in our lives, that never stops being true no matter how old you are. And sometimes there aren’t good decisions, there are just decisions.”

Luke’s grip on her shoulders tightened slightly, “We both made choices, and neither of them were easy ones. We’re both imperfect people trying our best, making mistakes and learning from them. You cannot punish yourself for that.”

Rey nodded her head slightly, and Luke gave her a halfhearted smile, “I know you don’t believe a thing I’m saying, not really, but I hope one day you will. Especially because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me from here on out.”

Rey’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and she looked to Poe, only to find him looking equally as confused. Her eyes shot to Leia, who’s expression had morphed into something softer.

“He’s the best you can get when it comes to footwork and technique,” she explained simply, “I wouldn’t entrust you two to anyone else.”

Rey turned back to Luke, whose smile finally began to reach his eyes.

“You’re going to coach us?” Rey asked in a quiet voice.

“I’ll handle the technical side of things, Leia will handle choreography,” Luke confirmed, “Even if we drive each other up the walls sometimes, we tend to do our best work together.”

“They don’t call us the Wonder Twins for nothing,” Leia piped up from behind her brother’s shoulder.

“Are you two okay with that arrangement?” Luke asked, eyes going between Rey and Poe. Rey turned to look at her partner, who furiously nodded his head in agreement. She turned back to Luke and met his eyes, full of anticipation and hope that she hadn’t seen in years.

“I think we’re okay with that,” Rey managed to respond. Her voice was still watery and quiet, but now fueled by excitement instead of fear.

Luke’s face broke out into a full smile, and he patted his hands on her shoulders as Rey let out a disbelieving laugh. He was really here, tangible and full of life, after years of being confined to her memory like a ghost. She wasn’t sure yet that she deserved that honor, but she was grateful nonetheless.

“Then get back out there and show him what you’ve got!” Leia called out, and Rey nodded her head and did as she was told.

“What the fuck is happening?” Poe mumbled under his breath as he took her hand at center ice.

“I don’t know,” Rey replied, looking over her shoulder at Luke and Leia whispering to each other. Even in quiet conversations, the two were so animated, their matching facial expressions and mannerisms allowing one to read them like an open book.

And from the way the two of them were carving out patterns in the air with their hands, Rey could tell that they were already conspiring together on ideas for choreography. Choreography for Rey and Poe for the upcoming season. This wasn’t a try out, not really. They had already made up their minds.

“But I think we’re going to be okay,” Rey confirmed, the anxiety that wrapped its way around her ribs finally gave way, allowing her to breathe for the first time all morning.

She turned to look at Poe, and could sense that the same calm had washed over him. His eyes were clear as he looked back at her, and something in Rey’s mind knew that she should hang onto this moment, like a camera taking a snapshot. They were no longer standing on the precipice of an unknown; they had already jumped into the deep end together, holding hands.

Poe began pulling her by their joined hands to stroke around the rink. “Waltz or finnstep first?” he asked, a sly smile on his face, “Please don’t say finnstep.”

“You’re lucky I’m feeling kind this morning,” Rey replied, a similar smile forming on her lips.

Poe let out a small laugh and beamed at her, “Let’s fucking do this.”

\--------

Rey flopped into her bed that night, mind and body thoroughly exhausted. She was right about the early morning session not being a try out; Luke and Leia had immediately put her and Poe to work, and her months away from training had certainly caught up with her.

She was blissfully giving way to the embrace of sleep, when her phone buzzed loudly next to her head. She blearily picked up the phone to see a two word text message from Poe.

_Check Instagram._

Rey pulled open the app to see a notification saying she’d been tagged in a post less than a minute ago. She clicked on it, and involuntarily let out a little gasp at what loaded onto her screen.

It was a candid picture of Rey and Poe from that morning, fully matching in their Team USA jackets, undoubtedly taken by Leia when the two weren’t looking. They were mid waltz, their form and lines a lot better than she had anticipated, but that’s not what caused Rey’s breath to catch in her throat.

Despite the difficult position they were holding, the two of them were smiling. They were genuinely smiling, wide and infectious and happy as they connected with each other, blissfully unaware of the camera snapping their photo. She finally scrolled down to glance at the caption.

_@usfigureskating: The Comeback Kids! Rey Kenobi and Poe Dameron to team up and return to competition for the 2018-2019 season!_

Rey’s phone buzzed in her hand, a text from Rose popping up at the top of her screen.

_Umm, when were you going to tell me you and Poe were skating together???_

It buzzed again, this time a text from Finn.

_HOLY SHIT! I am so excited for you, Peanut!!!_

Her phone continued buzzing, message after message rolling in, but Rey simply turned it to silent and tossed it back onto her bedside table. Tomorrow she would excitedly catch up with her friends and jump back into the groove of training life. But for now, she rolled over, and drifted into sleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had always planned on Luke coming back this chapter, but seeing comments hoping he would come back made writing his return even sweeter.
> 
> so sorry this took me so long, I ended up getting sick this week (not covid, thank god!) which just decimated any chance of being productive. I wrote this while still in a bit of a haze from all the cold medicines I've been on, so I hope it's somewhat coherent and enjoyable! I know the past few chapters were a lot of setup, but now we'll get to focus on our new duo.
> 
> next chapter should be up in about two weeks, that's the one that'll probably be a big boi. debating on splitting it down the middle, but we'll see. see you then, folks!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe make their first decision together as a team.

Rey’s life was quickly swept up into the familiar blur that was training. Early mornings in the frigid rink training the same skills over and over again until their edges are _just_ right. Afternoons spent in the gym with Rose, working until her shirt was drenched through with sweat and her muscles could barely hold her upright anymore. Evenings lowering her sore body into an ice bath and heating a pre-portioned, nutritionist approved meal in the oven before falling asleep before 9 PM.

It was grueling. It was exhausting. It pushed her to her limits day in and day out. Rey loved it.

She had always thrived with the combination of rigid routine and intense pressure. It was a process akin to squeezing coal into a diamond, pushing her to become something that she felt was greater than the sum of her parts.

There was just one part that she wasn’t particularly looking forward to.

“Programs!” Leia exclaimed as she walked through the doors to the rink, Luke trailing close behind, “It’s time to start thinking about music, you two.”

“Isn’t it still a little early for that?” Rey suggested, trying to keep the nervous edge out of her voice, “It’s only May, we still have plenty of time before we have to pick music!”

“It’s your debut season,” Leia reasoned, “The programs you choose are going to cement your identity as a team for the rest of your career.”

“Well that sounds a little extreme, doesn’t it?” Rey laughed anxiously. She could feel her breathing becoming a bit quicker and her shoulders starting to tense. Poe clearly took notice.

“Hey, at least the short dance is a tango!” he chimed in with a voice that was as chipper as he could muster this early in the morning, “That’s a pretty narrow range of music to choose from. And most of it sounds the same anyways, right? Not a big deal.”

He looked to Rey, seeing if his efforts had helped ease her tension at all. It had only been a few weeks, but the two of them had become adept at reading each other’s body language and nonverbal cues. Maybe spending hours at a time pressed flush against one another had that effect on people.

“You lucked out with the short, sure,” Leia acquiesced, “But the free could be anything we want.”

“Don’t we have a new lift we’re supposed to be working on?” Rey deflected.

“Yeah, I’m really having trouble with the entry, can you walk me through that again, Luke?” Poe joined her, albeit not all that convincingly. Rey appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Leia narrowed her eyes at the pair. “This is serious, you two, we need to ge-”

“Leave them be, Leia,” Luke cut his sister off, “It’s a big decision, not one that can be made today, and that’s fine.”

He turned his attention to Rey and Poe. “This is ultimately your decision, so you two talk it out whenever you get the chance. And when you do, know that it all boils down to one question: what story do you want to tell with this program?”

Luke smiled calmly at them, and Rey felt the pit in her stomach start to dissolve. “Now!” Luke clapped his hands together, “Let’s go over that lift again!”

\--------

“So, got any ideas?” Poe asked as they unlaced their skates in the locker room.

“Nope,” Rey responded in a casual tone she hoped didn’t sound too forced.

“Well, what about genre?” he prodded further, “Something classical?”

“God no, I don’t want to enter our first season with something that’s been done a million times over already,” she replied honestly, probably for the first time all day.

“Great, so Carmen it is, then?” Poe joked with a completely straight face. Rey laughed despite herself, and Poe responded in kind with a warm smile of his own.

“Carmen? In figure skating? Groundbreaking,” Rey bantered back.

“Fine, Romeo and Juliet?” Poe joked again.

“What are we, 16 years old?” Rey countered.

“I’m proposing some revolutionary shit here, Rey, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Poe shrugged as he shoved his skates into his bag.

“I almost wish Luke and Leia would just choose it for us,” Rey stated, her exhaustion once again allowing frank honesty to bleed into her words, “We’re already stressed enough as it is.”

“But where’s the fun in that?” Poe questioned, “It’s our programs, we’re going to be living and breathing them for the next year. We should both have a say in what they are, right?”

Rey ducked her head as she yanked off her skate. “Sure.”

“How about this?” Poe proposed after a pause, “Let’s just spend the next few weeks being open to whatever. If I think of something, I’ll send it your way, and vice versa, and we’ll get this figured out. No stress or pressure.”

Rey nodded and forced a smile, “Sounds good.”

\------

Despite his best efforts, or perhaps because of them, Poe managed to ensure that the process of picking music was a constant thorn in Rey’s side.

When they’re lifting weights in the gym with Rose? “So what do you think about Coldplay?” he grunted out in between reps.

When they’re taking a water break during practice? “Maybe a musical could be fun!” he exclaimed.

When they’re driving in the car at 6 AM on the way to the rink? “Wait, let me play this song for you, I think you’ll really like it!” he insisted.

Even when she’s finally at home, away from the constant poking and prodding? Her phone buzzed too loudly on the counter as his constant text messages rolled in. _https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ Give this a listen and let me know what you think!_

It grated on her. It aggravated her. It made her want to slap her hand over his mouth just so she could know what peace felt like again. And she can tell that her lack of enthusiasm, or even basic responses, was starting to have the same effect on him.

Not that they ever talked about it, but Rey knew. Their body language around each other was no longer one of puzzle pieces fitting together. Instead of connecting, they were reactive towards each other, the air between them crackling with uncomfortable energy. His shoulders tensed whenever she approached, and she involuntarily flinched when he reached out to take her hand.

It all came to a head on an otherwise dull Thursday morning. Poe had finally figured out the entrance to that lift they had been working on, but even with the grating static that drowned out any connection between them, Rey could tell that he wasn’t fully focused. Even when he nodded along to whatever Luke was saying to them, his eyes were empty. Like his mind was a thousand miles away.

“Alright, let’s give it a shot,” Poe clapped his hands together and turned towards Rey. His smile was tight and forced, and Rey could feel a pit form in her stomach.

“I don’t know if we’re ready for that yet,” Rey suggested gently, trying not to light the fuse to this ticking time bomb.

Poe rolled his eyes, “Rey, come on, don’t be a baby.”

“I just don’t think it could hurt to try it a few more times off the ice,” she responded, now becoming aggravated at his condescending tone.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Poe muttered under his breath as he ran his hands down his face.

“Excuse me for trying to make sure we’re being safe here,” she shot back.

Poe’s eyes widened with a deadly combination of shock and offense. “Oh, so you think I’m dangerous now?” he spat at her, “You don’t trust your own partner to keep you safe on the ice?”

“Not when he’s been distracted all morning!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation, “The lights are on, but nobody’s home, Poe!”

“Kids,” Luke tried to calm them both, “Let’s just take a breather here.”

“We’ve done this a million times off the ice already, we’ll be fine!” he insisted, ignoring his coach's attempt at diffusion.

“I’m not doing it,” Rey crossed her arms and stood firm.

“Well what the fuck else are we supposed to do then?” Poe exploded, “We can’t fucking choreograph anything because you won’t pick any god damned music!”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Luke commanded, his voice booming through the otherwise empty rink. Both Rey and Poe’s aggressive stances shrank at the admonishment, as if they were elementary school kids being sent to the principal’s office.

“We’re done for the day,” Luke stated, “Both of you, out of the rink, now. And do not just take this argument into the locker rooms. Go home and cool off, and come back tomorrow ready to act more like adults and less like petulant children, okay?”

Rey and Poe both nodded their heads, refusing to make eye contact with each other. They each exited the rink without acknowledging one another.

\-------

Rey was watching old re-runs of Jeopardy on the couch that night, still trying to shake off Luke’s searing reprimand from hours before, when there was a knock at the door. She got up from the couch to answer, confused. She didn’t remember ordering takeout?

She pulled the door open to find Poe standing on her doorstep, with two large pizza boxes cradled in his arms. Even from a brief glance, Rey could tell that life had returned to his eyes. He was here, present, and looked apologetic.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

Rey crossed her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. “Are those cheese or pepperoni?”

“I didn’t know which one you liked more, so I got both,” Poe shrugged.

Rey nodded and stepped aside, gesturing for him to come inside. “Set them on the coffee table, I’ll get some plates.”

They tear through one whole pizza in the span of one episode of Jeopardy, only speaking to occasionally call out an answer to the television in between bites. It’s a tenuous peace, one that was a vast improvement over the last few days, but Rey knew what was coming next.

“So are we going to talk about it?” Poe said, more as a statement rather than a question.

Rey gently set her half eaten slice down on her plate, avoiding eye contact despite her better judgement.

“Rey, talk to me,” Poe asked, so gentle it nearly broke Rey’s heart, “I know I may not always be the brightest bulb in the socket, but I can tell this isn’t just about picking music.”

She looked up and found the same softness that flooded his voice radiating from his eyes. “I’m your partner. We need to learn to talk to each other. Please,” he pleaded.

“I never had any say in any program I did with Ben,” the truth fell out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop it, “The music, the costumes, the choreography, none of it. Every suggestion I had was outright ignored. So I learned to keep my head down and my mouth shut.”

She takes a deep, steadying breath. “I know you’re not Ben, and Luke isn’t Snoke, thank God. But every time you pushed me to make a decision about music, I would be terrified that any suggestion I had would be laughed at.”

“Rey, holy shit,” Poe’s voice was somehow gentler than before, “I am never going to do that to you, please tell me you know that.”

Rey nodded her head slightly.

“No, Rey, I’m serious,” Poe leaned forward in his chair towards her, “I need you to trust me. I know that we’ve both got a lot of unchecked baggage, but we need to trust that we’re safe with each other.”

He held her gaze with a clear and piercing stare. “Do you feel safe with me?”

“Yes,” Rey responded honestly, feeling the weight of the words rattle in her bones, “I feel safe with you.”

“Then do you feel up to talking about our programs?” he suggested gently, “If right now’s not the time, that’s okay. We can totally finish off the rest of this pizza and try to best each other in Jeopardy til we want to call it a night, if that’s what you want.”

“I just,” Rey paused, trying to find the words, “I don’t know what I want to do. Sincerely, no songs immediately come to mind, even when I try to focus on it. It’s like that creative muscle just atrophied.”

“Well, let’s forget about naming songs, and just go back to the question that Luke asked us,” Poe pondered, “What story do we want to tell?”

“It’s our first season together,” Rey parroted Leia’s words, “This defines how people will view us for the rest of our careers. I don’t want to just arbitrarily pick a narrative that we don’t connect with.”

“Alright,” Poe rubbed at the stubble on his chin, “Then what’s our story?”

Those words rang Rey like a bell. She had spent years being bent and twisted and forced into molds that she never felt comfortable in, faking her way through characters that always managed to fall flat no matter how desperately she tried to make them work. It had never occurred to her to try to just play what should be the easiest role of all: herself.

“I feel happy when I skate with you,” Rey stated simply, “I just want something that feels the same way, something that feels warm and bright and joyful and just like…”

“Sunshine,” Poe finished the sentence for her, “You want something that feels like sunshine.”

“Yes!” Rey exclaimed, feeling a relief akin to an annoying itch finally being scratched, “I want our program to feel like sunshine!”

“Okay, I can work with that,” Poe’s face split with a mischievous grin as he pulled his phone from his pocket and began typing.

“Unless that doesn’t feel right to you,” Rey backtracked, “This needs to be about both of us.”

“Oh no, this is perfect,” Poe paused and looked up from his phone, “Even on the days where you drive me up the wall, I’ve never had more fun than I have skating with you.”

Rey could feel heat rising in her cheeks. Wait, why was she blushing?

“And I think I have just the song for it,” he tapped his thumb on the screen, and bright, plunky piano notes begin to blare from his phone.

Rey’s eyebrow quirked upward. “Is this the opening song from La La Land?”

“Give it a chance,” Poe held up his finger as if to tell her to pause, “People have done La La Land before, but nobody ever does the best song.”

She went along with it, and closed her eyes as the song continued to play. She can see pieces of choreography dance behind her eyes, the two of them gliding and turning in time with the music as it joyfully swells to its crescendo. It excited her from the inside out, sending goosebumps down her arms.

She opened her eyes as the music came to an end and met Poe’s gaze, and knew without words that they were on the same page. This was it.

“Send it to Luke, that’s our free dance,” Rey confirmed, face split with a wide smile.

“Hell yeah it is!” Poe jumped up with excitement. He excitedly held up his hands for a high five, and Rey stood up to enthusiastically return it.

He suddenly picked her up in a bear hug, spinning her around the living room as she giggled with an equal mix of excitement and relief. “We are going to own this season!” Poe declared.

“Slow down, champ, we still have to choreograph the damn thing,” Rey laughed as he set her down. She was suddenly acutely aware of how close they were, merely inches from each other’s faces as they came down from their joyful high.

Wait, why did she care about that? They were always close to one another on the ice.

“And we’re going to choreograph the shit out of it, and we are going to have the best debut season the ISU has ever seen,” Poe insisted confidently.

“You don’t know that,” Rey tried to temper his excitement.

“Of course I do,” Poe stated with the same confidence, “I’m skating with you, there’s no way I can lose.”

He smiled at her and, despite trying to listen to the logical voice that nagged at the back of her head, she couldn’t tamp down the warmth that bubbled up in her chest. She trusted Poe. And he, in turn, trusted her. They had built a little bubble between the two of them, one where she felt safe and heard for the first time in God knows how long. They were going to create something incredible, and skate it together. And they were going to win.

Poe’s eyes went back to the nearly empty pizza boxes on the coffee table. “Oh, and Leia can never know that we ate those in one sitting.”

Rey shook her head. “Oh, definitely not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND NOW THE COMPETITIVE SEASON BEGINS!
> 
> aaaaaaand she manages to get the chapter up in less than 2 weeks! I literally wrote and re-wrote this chapter 3 times. I had a whole structure and plan that I could not make work no matter how hard I tried, so I let it go and just rebuilt from the ground up. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, all things considered, and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> as per usual, next chapter should be up within the next week or two. see ya'll then!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe prepare for their first competition.

It’s a Thursday in July, and the first competition of the season is so close Rey can almost taste it. It’s only a Challenger series competition, sure, not as major or prestigious as a Grand Prix event; but to be even considered for an international competition as such a new team was a blessing in and of itself. It was going to be their first showing as a team to the skating world, and would define their momentum going into the new season. They had no choice but to nail it.

Which is why Rey and Poe are surprised when Leia turns them away from the ice that morning.

“Wait, are you joking?” Poe asked, his usually tired voice shocked awake by his coach’s demand, “We only have two weeks til Lake Placid, we need every second of ice time we can get!”

“What you two need is to work on your short dance,” Leia answered, “The tango romantica is no joke. No matter how good the free is shaping up to be, you can’t expect to medal with a weak short.”

“Okay, then tell me how the hell we’re supposed to improve if you aren’t letting us on the ice?” Poe countered, stepping forward and leveling the tiny woman in front of him with an intense glare. Leia didn’t falter for a millisecond, meeting his glare with a withering gaze of her own.

Though she’d never admit it to either involved party, Rey thought it was wildly entertaining when Leia and Poe went toe to toe with each other. Poe had an immense amount of affection for their coach, a connection similar to what she had with Luke, but they were both incredibly bullheaded and could lock horns over the tiniest decisions. 

But when push came to shove, Leia always won out. She was the coach (and the Olympic champion) here, after all.

“You get yourselves up to the studio to work with Maz is how, Poe,” Leia stated, “I’m not talking about working on the technicalities here. Luke can be the one to drill you on edges and key points to his heart’s content. But I’m your choreographer here, and when it comes to the story of your programs, what I say goes. And I say, you two have serious work to do on your tango.”

She continued glaring at Poe, unwilling to be the first to fold in their tacit standoff. Poe finally cracked and looked away first, muttering a halfhearted agreement under his breath.

“Besides, you two have to be in the best shape possible. You got two Grand Prix assignments this morning,” Leia stated in a shockingly casual tone, given that her words made Rey’s jaw drop.

“Two Grand Prix assignments?” Rey parroted back. She hadn’t even checked the official announcement, assuming that no assignments would be passed their way. “How?”

“Two of the top US teams retired after the Olympics, and another is out for the season due to injuries,” Leia explained matter-of-factly, “US Figure Skating needs to fill their roster.”

“Hey, give us a little credit here!” Poe countered, “We’ve been working our asses off, and the fed knows it. And they’ve figured out that if there’s going to be one team that can deliver, it’s going to be us.”

“High horse,” Rey stated, using the phrase they had established to call each other out when they were being objectively cocky. Which, between the two of them, was something that necessitated frequent checking.

“You can only deliver if you can sell the programs, so get up to the studio before Maz gets tired of waiting,” Leia instructed firmly, “She has her own dance company to run, it was a miracle I could get her in to work with you at all.”

Rey and Poe nodded in unison and turned on their heels to follow her instructions. Rey made sure they cleared the door into the lobby before allowing her excitement to show, frantically hitting Poe’s shoulder and bouncing up and down slightly.

“Two Grand Prixs!” she exclaimed in as quiet a voice as she could manage.

“Calm down, kiddo, we still have to survive whatever Maz has planned for us before we can even think about the Grand Prix,” he responded, although he couldn’t suppress the smile on his face.

“The tango romantica!” Maz exclaimed in lieu of a greeting when the two walked into the dance studio. She wasn’t even looking at them, instead focused on stretching her tiny form at the barre on the mirrored wall as she shot the words over her shoulder. “What do those words mean to you?”

“Uh, a romantic tango?” Rey answered, exchanging a look with her partner as they set down their bags.

Maz whirled around to face them, and gave Rey a stern look.

“We aren’t here to discuss things in literal terms, Rey,” she reprimanded lightly, “From what I hear from your coaches, you two are doing just fine with the tangible elements of your programs. It’s the metaphorical elements that you’re struggling with. You know the steps, but do not understand the story you’re trying to tell with them.”

“Rey isn’t wrong though,” Poe defended her, “There’s only so much story that can be told in a tango. Two lovers, passionate love affair, an unspecified tragedy of some sort, blah blah blah.”

Maz’s eyes narrowed at Poe. “If it’s so simple, then how are you two missing the mark so badly?”

Rey inhaled sharply at the pointed criticism. Poe leaned towards her slightly in response, physically backing her up just as he had done with his words only moments before.

“Go ahead,” Maz stepped back towards the wall, freeing up the dance floor, “Show me what you two have been working on.”

Poe took Rey by the hand and led her to the center of the space, and the two began going through the motions of their routine. It’s a little awkward without the forward momentum of their skating, but Rey thinks it at least vaguely resembles a tango.

“No!” Maz called out only thirty seconds in, “Stop, stop, stop!”

They come to a halt as instructed, and Rey let out a discouraged huff. She could feel Maz’s eyes on her, examining her, picking her apart without a single word. It made Rey’s skin crawl.

“You two are clearly comfortable with each other,” Maz stated, still analyzing the pair in front of her, “Am I correct in that assumption?”

“I should hope so,” Poe replied with an annoyed edge to his voice, “We spend practically everyday together.”

“You and I both know that time spent together doesn’t always mean that two people will connect,” Maz countered, “No, you two, you suit each other well. But do you ever think about the way you connect? How you two fit together as one unit?”

Rey exchanged alook with Poe. “No? If things are working just fine, why should we?” she responded.

“Because the way you connect as individuals will define your ability to convey a story,” Maz answered, “The story isn’t in how deep your edges are or how pretty your costumes are. No, the story is in your connection, how you are acting and reacting to each other. And that’s where this is falling flat.”

“Oh trust me, we react to each other plenty,” Poe laughed mirthlessly as he pulled his water bottle from his bag, “We bicker so much sometimes I think Luke might actually try to kill us one day.”

“Yet you don’t allow any of that tension into your movements on the ice?” Maz questioned, “Not even in a tango? A dance notorious for the friction required between its two partners?”

“It’s not like we enjoy fighting with each other,” Rey defended both herself and Poe, “It never feels good to skate together when there’s a wedge between us.”

“Be that as it may, you two won’t pull off a convincing tango if you don’t feel safe enough to bring any tension whatsoever onto the ice,” Maz stated matter-of-factly. Rey could feel the back of her neck burning with frustration.

“So what, we’re supposed to pick a fight with each other before every competition?” Rey exclaimed incredulously.

“I never said you two had to fight,” Maz replied calmly, “But you have to be secure enough in your connection to morph it into whatever the dance demands from you.”

Maz then turned towards Poe, “Do you find Rey attractive, Poe?”

Poe choked on the water that he was drinking. “You’re really going to back me into a corner like that, Maz?” he choked out between coughs.

“It seems like building characters separated from yourself isn’t going to work here, so we’ll have to draw on aspects of your real relationship to make this tango viable,” Maz answered, shrugging lightly, “So, do you find Rey attractive?”

Poe glanced up at Rey, his eyes tacitly begging her to somehow tell him how to answer. Rey could only shrug in response; given the way Maz had read them like open books after only a few minutes, she knew there was no way they were going to talk their way out of this.

Plus, a part of her wanted to hear his honest answer.

Poe let out a deep breath, “Yes, Rey is a beautiful woman.”

Maz nodded her head lightly, walking slowly around them like a shark circling its prey, “But she drives you up the wall sometimes, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, she does,” Poe replied tensely.

“Over what?” Maz pushed him, stepping slightly closer to him, “What is it about her that sticks you like a thorn in your side?”

“She is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” Poe answered.

“Please, that’s you you’re talking about,” Rey muttered under her breath.

“See what I mean?” he pointed at his partner like a kindergartener trying to get their classmate in trouble with the teacher.

“What else?” Maz smiled slyly, still circling the two.

“She always wants to practice our elements off the ice to an extreme degree, like she doesn’t trust me to execute them properly,” Poe continued, now holding his partner’s eyes with his own stare, “And she has the worst taste in music. I swear she only ever listens to music from the 1980s-”

“Duran Duran is a good band, and I stand by that!” Rey interjected.

“-which she insists on blasting in the car at the ungodly hour of 6 AM.” Poe finished his sentence.

Maz turned to Rey. “Your turn.”

“He’s never satisfied with our elements, even when we’ve perfected them,” Rey refused to look away from Poe’s eyes, “He always says they could be better, yet never has any actual ideas on how to improve them. And you can’t talk to him in the mornings until he’s had a cup of coffee. It’s like a badly written cliche.”

Poe’s eyes narrowed at Rey. “She cheats at Jeopardy.”

“I do not!” Rey exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation, “We’ve been over this!”

“Maz, I swear to God, she records the episodes and memorizes the answers before I get there so she can purposefully embarrass me,” Poe called out to their teacher.

“Okay, okay,” Maz stepped between the two of them, grabbing both lightly by their wrists. Poe and Rey finally broke eye contact to turn towards the small woman in front of them.

“I can see why Luke wants to kill you two sometimes,” Maz said with a bit of a laugh, “You two bicker like schoolchildren.”

Maz’s wide eyes softened a bit as she looked at the two of them, “Why do you two come together, then? Why not let those arguments completely tear you apart?”

“He’s my partner,” Rey stated plainly.

“Rey, I have seen arguments smaller than this tear more formidable teams apart before,” Maz responded, voice softer yet still just as firm, “Why do you come back to Poe?”

Rey met her partner’s eyes once again, although this time, there was no annoyance or anger flowing between them. “Because I trust him,” Rey responded with complete candor, even if doing so made her pulse quicken slightly.

She didn’t understand the weight those words had carried until they had fallen out of her mouth. When Rey thought about it, she had very few people that she could say she earnestly trusted. She hadn’t trusted Ben, even when his entire job as her partner was to make sure to catch her when she fell. She found that it was simply easier to always be braced to hit the ice instead of having any unrealistic expectations of what her partner would or would not sacrifice for her.

But Poe? Poe always caught her. She trusted him, quite literally, with her life.

Poe’s eyes softened, “I’ve always got you,” he stated, voice calm and sure, “And I know you’ve always got me. Even when we’re at our stupidest.”

“We can be pretty stupid,” Rey confirmed, and Maz smiled gently.

“Then if that trust can survive all your stupidity, it can surely survive this tango,” Maz reassured, “So now that we know that we will be okay when this is all over, let’s not hold back this time, yes? Tension. Passion. Love. Anger. I want to see all of it. Pull those emotions from deep within you, and infuse them into every movement.”

Poe and Rey nodded, and Maz walked back towards the mirrored wall, giving the two the floor once again. Rey walked side by side with Poe to the center of the space, settling into their opening positions.

“I want you to know that I’m going to be imagining smashing every one of your Bon Jovi CDs into pieces during this run through,” Poe whispered as they settled against one another in their opening pose. Rey looked up and saw a mischievous glint in his eyes. She leaned towards him.

“I’m going to be imagining what your face looks like when I demolish you at Jeopardy,” she whispered back, “Oh, wait, I don’t have to imagine. I know exactly what that looks like.”

The mischievous glint in Poe’s eyes erupted into a full on flame right as their music began. He turned his head away and Rey pulled it back to face her, just as they were choreographed to do; but this time, Poe was not simply moving his head back on his own with the touch of her hand. Rey had to use force, and pulled his face closer to hers in the process.

And when Rey caught his eye, merely inches from her own, he smiled. The type of smug and cocky expression that only served to fuel her frustration more. She wanted to wipe that smug smile off his damn face.

Rey knew that they were no longer simply going through the motions of the choreography that Luke and Leia had created for them. No, this was a fight. This was their ever present battle of wills, only now it was physicalized instead of merely verbalized. Poe refused to move unless Rey pushed or pulled him hard enough to do so, and vice versa. Every leg movement, every head turn, every flick of the wrist snapped in time with the music as they reacted to each other with every movement.

Rey could catch glimpses of Maz out of the corner of her eye, and each time, there was a serene and satisfied smile on her wrinkled face.

The music crescendoed, and Poe and Rey’s bodies retaliated against one another with one last grand movement. Rey turned away and Poe pulled her face back towards his on the final beat of the music, abruptly halting mere inches away from each other.

Rey always thought that bit of choreography was a little on the nose every time they executed it, ending the piece with a mirroring of the beginning.

But Rey had no brain power with which to articulate that thought in this moment. She was too busy trying not to focus on how suddenly aware she was of how tightly Poe was holding her to him. How her hand had somehow become tangled in the mess of curls at the nape of his neck. 

How Poe’s pupils were blown wide as his eyes remained locked on hers.

Rey was unable to suppress it for very long, and her awareness slammed back into her with such force it may as well have been a freight train. She cleared her throat and stepped away from her partner, unwilling to look him in the eyes despite being literally entangled in him only moments before.

“That! That was it!” Maz enthusiastically shouted to the two of them from the edge of the dance floor.

Rey nervously glimpsed her partner, unsure if she wanted to know what he was feeling in this moment. He seemed fine, if a bit dazed, as he caught his breath. The fiery persona that had just needled its way under her skin had been extinguished, and morphed back into the Poe that she knew, the one that was a familiar comfort to her.

He glanced up at her and gave a little reassuring smile, and she felt the coil of anxiety that had locked itself around her ribs loosen. They were still them. They were okay. She smiled back.

“See? Was that so hard?” Maz strode toward them, once again taking their hands in hers, “Now, you cannot lose that fire. I forbid it!”

Maz squeezed their hands lightly and looked both of them intently in the eyes, “You two have something special. Lean into it, even if you aren’t quite sure what it is yet. I promise you it will never let you down.”

Rey was struck with the distinct feeling that Maz wasn’t just talking about their short dance, but knew better than to ask Maz to elaborate on her often cryptic messages. So she settled for a quiet nod of agreement instead.

Maz smiled and clapped her hands together, “Alright, you two, get out of here! My work is done!”

Rey and Poe did as they were told, quickly gathering their bags and walking out the door with quick goodbyes for Maz thrown over their shoulders.

“So was that a dance lesson? Or a therapy session?” Poe asked as he bumped Rey lightly on the shoulder with his own. She was admittedly a little disoriented as she processed the intensity of the past hour. How they had conjured those enormous, heightened emotions in one breath; and then, how quickly they had fallen back into normalcy in another.

“Maz is...a lot, I know,” Rey reasoned as they walked down the stairs side by side into the lobby, “But she has her reasons.”

“That’s vague and unsettling,” Poe grimaced.

“I don’t get her methods either, but she got the results we needed, didn’t she?” Rey justified further. The snapshot memory of Poe’s wild and hungry expression at the end of their dance flashed through Rey’s mind at her words, where she promptly shoved it away like an unruly party guest who had overstayed their welcome.

“We’ll see if it did us any good,” Poe stated, voice still laden with skepticism as the two walked into the locker rooms.

Poe didn’t know it yet, but he would find himself eating those words only two weeks later. 

\-------

It’s a Sunday in early August when Rey and Poe compete in their first international competition as a team.

And they win gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I TECHNICALLY GOT IT IN UNDER THE TWO WEEK MARK PLS DON'T BE MAD AT ME
> 
> I sincerely am sorry for the delay! I managed to land a full time job out of literally nowhere(!!!!) so the past few weeks have been spent focused on that. now that I'm in the rhythm of things, I think I'll still be able to manage getting a new chapter in every week or two.
> 
> this was a chapter that really fought back with me. I had to rewrite certain sections countless times til I was happy with it as a whole. I hope you're happy with it too! the season begins for realsies now, and I'm very excited to finally write out these chapters that I've been thinking about for a long time. see ya'll then!
> 
> (also, did no one check the youtube link the poe sent rey in the last chapter?)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe compete at their first Grand Prix event, where they are met with an unwelcome figure from the past.

Skate America crept up on Rey and Poe fast. The first of their two Grand Prix events, and one that was packed with well established teams that were already at the top of their game.

Not that that scared either of them, Rey thought as she and Poe stepped onto the ice in the cavernous arena for their first official practice. They had won gold in their international debut, a move which turned a lot of eyes in the skating world their way. They were coming in strong with a one two punch of great programs and political momentum. Still, everything logical told Rey that she should keep her expectations low, given the scale of the event. But the confidence that was naturally generated when she was in Poe’s proximity kept whispering in her ear that they could make the podium.

Hell, maybe they could take the gold medal.

Luke took their Team USA jackets from them as he stood on the other side of the boards. “Alright, let’s just focus on adjusting the choreography for the space, yeah? I want to see that tango project all the way into the back row.”

“Shouldn’t be a problem, boss” Poe answered and took Rey’s hand as they stroked towards center ice.

“Nervous?” he bantered, nudging Rey with his shoulder as they weaved through the other teams already whizzing past them on the ice.

Rey didn’t answer, as she was distracted by one particularly tall figure that was aggressively pushing his way across the ice.

When Rey had seen the roster for Skate America, she had been thrilled at the sight of her and Poe’s name side by side printed in all caps. But the excitement quickly turned into ice cold dread when she read the names only a few slots beneath theirs:

Ben Solo and Gwen Phasma.

Some part of her had known that she wasn’t going to be able to avoid him forever. There would be competitions, camps, maybe even some shows where their seemingly inherently intertwined paths would cross again. She had to swallow the bitter pill that was knowing she would never be able to permanently disentangle herself from Ben Solo, but Rey had at least hoped that the day she would have to face him again wouldn’t be so soon.

Rey’s jaw clenched as Ben glanced over his partner’s shoulder, his eyes meeting hers with such intention that she couldn’t ignore it if she tried. A chill went down her spine and a pit began to settle in her stomach.

Poe wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled Rey into his side, gently running his hand over her upper arm. “Hey, come on, that asshole isn’t worth your time,” he reassured, “Let’s tango, yeah?”

Rey nodded, although her jaw was taut with tension.

Poe turned and took her hand, nodded at her again, and they were off. Rey tried to concentrate on the steps that had been drilled into her muscle memory by hours of repetition and practice, but she could not shake loose the fog that had settled over her brain. It was almost as if Ben’s mere presence was enough to send her into flight or fight mode. He jammed every circuit in her brain and sucked all the joy from her bones like a greedy leech.

“Rey, where are you today?” Poe asked after one particularly weak stumble through, “I may as well be dragging a rag doll across the ice.”

“I’m fine,” Rey deflected, “Just not used to such a big arena.”

“You know I don’t believe you, right?” Poe stated bluntly, “Like, we’re both on the same page about that?”

“Fine, believe whatever you want,” she mumbled, “I’m going to get some water.”

Poe let her go with a terse nod, and Rey couldn’t ignore the annoyance that was beginning to roll off her partner in waves. His frustration at her frustration was only making her more frustrated. They were an emotional feedback loop, the two of them; if one of them felt something, the other felt it twofold.

Luke eyed her as she came back to the boards, one eyebrow raised in question. God, he looked so much like his sister when he did that.

Rey waved him off, and he reluctantly turned his gaze back to the ice. She grabbed at her water bottle and took a long drink, closing her eyes and trying to breathe the way Luke had taught her. In for seven counts, hold for five, out for seven...or was it ten? No, that can’t be right. Was she supposed to hold it for this long?

“Long time no see,” a deep, rumbling voice came from beside her, and the blood in Rey’s veins went cold.

“Mhm,” Rey mumbled, mouth still full of water. She refused to give Ben the courtesy of looking him in the eyes, but even so, she could picture the smug smile that was undoubtedly painted on his face.

“How’ve you been?” Ben pressed, ignoring the obvious tension of the moment and leaning against the boards in a show of faux casualness.

“Please, like you give a shit,” the words slipped out of Rey’s mouth without thinking.

The silence that hung between the two of them was so heavy it risked smothering Rey under its weight. She couldn’t tell if she wanted to punch the boards in front of her, or crumple to the ice crying.

“Rey,” Luke called out, looking her intently in the eye, “Can we try out that variation on the rotational lift that we were working on?”

Rey nodded and pushed away from the boards, probably with a little more force than was necessary. Even though she was thankful that Luke had given her an out from that situation, her skin still prickled with anxiety as she skated away from her former partner, and pushed her way to Poe.

“You good?” he asked, and Rey nodded. Poe once again looked over her face, eyes prodding her in a way that made her want to push away from him too.

“Can we please focus on what we came here for?” Rey demanded tersely, “I’m fine.”

Poe let out a deep sigh, “Fine.”

They went back to their halfhearted attempt at practice. Poe led Rey through the steps, but her mind was still hundreds of miles away. Anywhere but here, where she felt trapped like a rabbit being slowly circled by a hungry wolf.

She was shocked back into her body when she felt a body nearly come crashing into hers at full speed. Rey gasped loudly as Poe instinctively pulled her into his chest to avoid the collision.

“What the fuck!” Poe cried out, and Rey turned from where her face had become buried in his jacket to see Ben and Phasma speeding through their tango pattern. Ben met her eyes with a self satisfied expression.

The bastard had tried to side swipe them on purpose. He knew he was rattling her, and he was enjoying it.

“You okay?” Rey asked her partner with a trembling voice. Poe’s energy had evolved from simmering frustration to rage that was threatening to boil over on a dime.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Poe gritted out, “Just wish some assholes would learn common courtesy.”

Rey continued to clutch at Poe’s jacket as his arms remained locked protectively around her. She couldn’t stop shaking. Poe’s shoulders and jaw were wound tight with barely contained rage.

Rey couldn’t deny the obvious. Despite her best efforts, Ben Solo still had the power to shake her.

\----------------

They end up in 5th after the short dance.

“Why does it always have to be fucking fifth?” Rey mumbled to herself as she jammed her key card into the lock, slamming the door shut behind her.

Their tango was a mess. It was riddled with dumb, rudimentary mistakes that they had trained beyond months ago. But their training wasn’t the problem.

It was her. She was the problem. Moreso, it was Rey’s inability to ignore Ben’s presence that had left her in a brain fog so thick that she barely remembered their time on the ice.

She ripped off her fake eyelashes with more force than was probably necessary. She angrily pulled a makeup wipe from its package and began to aggressively wipe away the thick makeup from her face.

Ben and Gwen had ended up in 3rd. Although, not by much; only 3 points separated them from her and Poe. But points weren’t what mattered to her here.

How the hell had he been able to get under her skin like this? Actually, how the hell had she allowed him to do so after all this time?

She took a long look at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were red, the skin left raw from where she had scrubbed at it. Her eyes were red too, but that wasn’t from the makeup remover.

Rey chucked the wipe into the bin and began to carefully remove her costume from her body, mindful enough to keep her frustration in check this time lest she rip one of its delicate seams.

The worst part wasn’t feeling as though she had failed herself in some way. No, she continued musing as she hung the red dress up in the closet, the worst part was that she had failed Poe. An image of his face after they received their scores flashed through her mind; he had plastered on a charming smile that could fool the crowd around them, but from up close, Rey saw that the smile never reached his eyes. He was disappointed. The thought drove a knife through her heart. 

She could sleep just fine knowing that she had let herself down. But letting Poe down? That wasn’t something that she couldn’t live with.

Rey tugged on sweatpants and a t-shirt, snatched her key card from her bed and strode out her room and marched determinedly to the door across the hall. She brought her fist up to the door and knocked loudly 3 times, pacing the floor nervously as she waited for an answer.

Poe opened the door, already clad in pajamas of his own, and began greeting his partner before she cut him off.

“I fucked up,” she blurted out as she pushed past him into his room, “I know I fucked up badly today, and I let you down, and I’m so sorry.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Poe reached out and placed his hands on her shoulders, “Rey, breathe, we’re fine. Everything's fine.”

“Everything is not fine,” she insisted, “We should have been in clear medal contention after today, you and I both know that. And you and I both also know that I’m the one who dropped the ball.”

“Shit happens,” Poe shrugged, “We all have off days.”

“Why are you so calm right now?” she shot back, breathing becoming shallower and tears beginning to prick at the corners of her eyes. She didn’t deserve to be forgiven so easily for this. “Aren’t you angry? Disappointed? I fucked up and potentially cost us a shot at the podium!”

“Rey, do you really expect me to be angry at you for being human?” Poe asked in a voice so gentle and kind that it made something in Rey break.

The tears began flowing freely as Rey let out a sob, unable to hold back the violent emotional reaction that ripped its way through her chest.

“Woah, hey, come here,” Poe wrapped his arms gingerly around her trembling form, and pulled her into his chest. Rey went willingly, and buried her face into his sweatshirt and clutched at the oversized sleeves with shaking hands.

“Breathe with me, okay?” Poe insisted in a soothing voice, gently swaying their intertwined forms, “Rey, can you do that for me?”

Rey nodded into his chest, even if she wasn’t completely confident that she could control her frenzied breathing at this point. Poe took a deep breath and Rey tried to match it, her breath hitching with hiccups and sobs every so often. She pressed her ear to his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat steady her. They continued like that, slightly rocking back and forth and breathing together as one unit for what could have been 10 minutes or 10 hours, Rey didn’t know. Time had lost all meaning in the wake of the wave of emotions that had crashed into her like a tsunami.

“You wanna go sit?” Poe asked when her breathing began to even out.

Rey nodded into his chest again, and Poe shifted to guide her over to sit on his unmade bed. He disappeared into the bathroom only to emerge with a glass of water, offering it to her as he sat down beside her. She drank the whole glass in one go while Poe simply sat in peaceful silence next to her. He wasn’t poking or prying as to why she just had a nervous breakdown at his doorstep. He was waiting for her to talk when she was ready.

“Ben always got angry at me for the most mundane reasons,” she finally broke the silence, “My arms weren’t extended correctly, my makeup wasn’t done right right, I didn’t look happy enough when we were skating, the list never ended.”

Rey absentmindedly ran her fingers along the rim of the standard hotel glass. “It was a constant game of trying to please him, and never quite being good enough. No matter how many times I bent and twisted myself into new shapes, I could never make him happy. And I ended up bending myself until I broke.”

She sniffled and wiped a few stray tears from her eyes. Poe gently laid his hand on her knee, and she rested her hand on top of his, intertwining their fingers and holding onto him like a lifeline as she finally processed years worth of internalized trauma out loud.

“And I was always the problem, you know?” Rey continued, “There was just something fundamentally wrong with me that could never be fixed or trained away. I was just broken, and lesser than. And he was the one doing me a favor by putting up with it. He made me earnestly believe that.”

Rey’s turned to face Poe through the unshed tears in her eyes. “And part of me still believes that, I guess. That feeling of being utterly worthless, of being nothing, just came out of the woodwork and destroyed me today,” she finished calmly, allowing the truth of her words to ring out in the empty hotel room.

Poe didn’t say anything for a moment, then reached out to pull her in again into a tight embrace, which Rey collapsed into gratefully. He held her tightly, as if he thought he could physically hold her together after she had metaphorically fell apart in front of him. He pressed a kiss to her hairline as the last of her tears ran down her cheeks.

“I want you to listen to me,” Poe whispered into her ear, the two still clutching each other tightly, “You are not broken. You are not a disappointment, or a failure, especially not to me. So don’t you dare believe that for another second.”

Poe pulled back and held Rey’s face in his hands. “You should have never been forced to break yourself for someone who didn’t have enough decency to show you basic respect. Solo is a shit stain, and I swear to God I will kill him if I ever get my hands on hi-

“Please don’t, we can’t have you being thrown in jail for first degree murder,” Rey bantered lightly, voice still watery as she joked.

He smiled and wiped the stray tears that had fallen down her face with his thumb. “You are the best partner I could’ve ever dreamed of, Rey. And I would rather be in 5th place with you than in 1st place with anyone else.”

Poe reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and the softness that radiated from his every word, from his every movement nearly broke Rey all over again. The space in her chest that had been occupied by an all consuming, destructive black hole was replaced with a warmth that she wanted nothing more than to collapse into.

“Thank you,” she spoke barely above a whisper, and Poe responded by pressing another kiss to her temple. She couldn’t help but draw in a breath at the contact as the intimacy of the moment finally hit her.

Despite being physically pressed against one another day in and day out, this was the closest she had ever let Poe get to her. Hell, she had just completely unraveled one of her deepest pieces of trauma to him without a second of hesitation. This was the closest she had let _anyone_ get to her.

“I’m your partner, this is what I’m here for,” Poe responded.

“You’re also my friend,” Rey confessed, “My best friend, actually.”

Poe smiled. An earnest, soft smile that reached his eyes and made them shimmer in a way that made the warmth in Rey’s chest somehow grow even further.

“The feeling is mutual,” he squeezed her hand, still entwined with his, “Who else is going to put up with my bullshit day in and day out?”

Rey let out a loud laugh, and Poe’s smile only widened at the sound.

“You gonna be okay being alone for the rest of the night?” he asked earnestly.

Rey shrugged and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. “Do I have any other choice?”

“You could stay here if you want,” Poe offered, “When I was little, I hated sleeping alone, especially on bad nights. The only thing that made it better was crawling into my mom’s bed just so I didn’t feel so alone.”

“You sure?” Rey asked cautiously. She had never known the comfort that he was describing, but man, did it sound inviting right now.

“Yeah,” Poe insisted, “The bed is more than big enough for the two of us to have our own space. And we can watch dumb pay-per-view movies until we pass out, if that’s would make you happy.”

Rey nodded gratefully, “I think I would like that.”

Poe smiled, “Well come on, then.”

The two settled side by side in the king sized bed, burrowing into the fluffy pillows and passing the remote back and forth as they scrolled through the pay-per-view movie options. The weight that Rey had been carrying all weekend began to fade away amidst the comfort of Poe’s presence. The comfort of knowing that she had been able to crack herself open and bare what she thought were the ugliest parts of herself, and be met with acceptance and kindness in return. The comfort of the gut laughter that came from their shared mocking of the generic low budget action film from the early 2000s they had picked.

Rey began fading in and out of sleep, drifting off during particularly monotonous parts of the film. Poe quietly switched the TV off and pulled the thick comforter up around her, which jostled her back into momentary consciousness.

She reached up and pushed a stray curl back from his face. “Thank you for everything,” she stated softly.

Poe took her hand in his and settled it in the space between them. It was the only point of contact between their bodies, yet it felt as though it was the most intimate touch they had ever shared.

“Anything for you, Sunshine,” Poe responded, just as soft, and placed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Rey took in his peaceful, sleeping form, lit only in the dim light that leaked through the curtains, and was suddenly struck with a feeling like a lightning bolt from the blue.

_I want this all the time._

The thought made her immediately clam up. Her and Poe’s relationship had always had a flirtatious edge to it, sure, and she could admit without any ounce of shame that she found him to be attractive. 

But this wasn’t admitting that your skating partner may be cute. No, this was something deeper, a conviction and an intimacy that she felt deep in her bones. Something that somehow felt both like coming home and flinging oneself off the side of a cliff at the same time.

Rey desperately swallowed the thought down. She couldn’t risk their partnership for a passing crush. That’s definitely all this was, right? She had a vulnerable moment, and that moment would pass, and they would go back to harmless flirting and driving each other up the wall in no time, right?

...right?

\-----------

Rey and Poe give the best performance of their careers thus far the next day. Rey skates completely unburdened, and feeling whole, for the first time in years. Their free dance is enough to pull them from 5th to 3rd, and Rey and Poe get to walk away from their first Grand Prix event with a bronze medal.

They stepped up onto the podium, waving to the massive crowds of people cheering loudly for them as their names were announced: “Your bronze medalists, representing the United States, Rey Kenobi and Poe Dameron!”

Rey couldn’t tamp down her glee at hearing those words boom through the auditorium. Nor could she stop the petty side of her from taking some joy in knowing that Ben would not get the same pleasure; he and Phasma had slipped into 4th after a weak free program.

And amidst all the excitement - the national anthems, the cheering, the medals being placed around their necks - Poe and Rey locked eyes and smiled at one another, bright and excited and present with each other in this moment. The rest of the arena went quiet in Rey’s mind, and her heart skipped a beat as Poe wrapped his arm around Rey’s waist and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

_Uh oh._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time is a weak concept for me and I sincerely apologize for going 3 weeks without an update! but its an extra long one with *~*~feelings~*~* so I hope that made up for the wait!
> 
> life is what it is right now, so I'll be updating when I can. a lot of these chapters are ones that I've been thinking about for a long time, and I really want them to be as good on paper as they are in my brain, so I take extra time to make sure that I'm happy with them.
> 
> to everyone who's still following this niche fic: thank you so much. you have no idea how much it means to me to know that people care enough to give my work a read.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and as always, I'll see ya'll in a bit with a new chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe's first gala performance goes far differently than either of them expect.

“You want a gala program?” Leia stated flatly, eyeing her stubborn student who should really be running edge drills right now as he was instructed instead of making demands like this out of the blue.

“Well, yeah!” Poe insisted, “We made it to the galas at Lake Placid and Skate America and didn’t have anything prepared!”

“You did your free program and that went over great!” Leia fired back, “It’s a guaranteed crowd pleaser, I made sure of it!”

“Everyone else had a separate exhibition program! Even the ones that we managed to beat!” Poe exclaimed, sounding more like a school child throwing a tantrum with each passing minute.

Although, Rey couldn’t disagree with what he was saying. It was frankly a bit embarrassing to have to repeat a program for a crowd that had already seen it less than 24 hours earlier.

Leia raised an eyebrow. “Alright, you want an exhibition?”

“Yes!” Poe answered, and Rey nodded her head firmly in agreement.

“Great!” Leia clasped her hands together and leaned forward slightly, “You can make one yourselves, then.”

“But you’re our choreographer?” Rey questioned after a moment of confused silence.

“And I have other competitors to handle besides you two,” Leia answered, “And my spare time is spent making sure Han doesn’t let this place burn to the ground. I don’t have the time to build an extra program that’s not even going to be seen by judges or earn you any medals.”

“You’re serious?” Poe asked.

“Dead serious,” Leia replied coolly, leaning forward on the boards, “You can have as many gala programs as you want. Hell, have twelve of them! I don’t care! But it’s on you to make them happen!”

Poe looked over to Luke, who merely shrugged in response. When Leia put her foot down, he knew better than to try to get her to budge.

“Hey, don’t look so upset!” Leia declared, “You two can have fun working on this together! Think of it as a team bonding exercise!”

It took a great amount of self control for Rey not to snort. Rey and Poe were the last team who needed any sort of bonding exercise; they had pretty much been inseparable for months at this point, but especially so after Skate America had ended and they began preparing for their second Grand Prix event: NHK Trophy.

If anyone asked, Rey said it was because they wanted to make sure everything was as clean and prepared as they could be for their next Grand Prix event. They couldn’t risk the immense momentum they had generated by medalling at their first two international competitions, obviously.

Whether or not Rey’s ever growing feelings towards her supposedly platonic skating partner had anything to do with their increased amount of time together? No comment, despite how much Finn teased her about it.

Poe turned to Rey and raised an eyebrow, “Well? What do you think, Sunshine?”

“You heard the woman,” Rey responded with a slight smile and a shrug, “We want an exhibition, we gotta build it ourselves.”

“Great, we’re all in agreement here!” Leia exclaimed, “Now, can we please actually start practice like we came here to do?”

\--------

“So, what are you thinking for music?” Rey asked as she began to stretch her quads in front of the mirrored wall in the dance studio.

Poe flipped through songs on his phone, already hooked up to the speaker in the corner. “I don’t know, given the last debacle over picking music, I just figured we would hit shuffle and go with whatever my phone picks to spare us the trouble.”

Rey playfully glared at him over her shoulder. Poe smirked back at her.

“Rude,” she muttered under her breath.

“This is supposed to be a team bonding exercise, right?” Poe inquired.

“Well, you know how badly we need it,” Rey retorted sarcastically, bending forward to stretch her legs. All jokes aside, Luke and Leia (and even Rose) been pushing them extra hard the past few weeks; Rey doesn’t think she’s ever been this consistently sore in her life.

“Alright, then we’re going to work together on this,” Poe continued, “I can ask you questions, you can ask me questions, and we’ll just bounce back and forth and hope to land on something eventually.”

Rey nodded as she crouched into a lunge position. “Alright, shoot.”

“Do you want to go with something fun or something serious?” Poe asked.

“Serious,” Rey leaned forward into her lunge, wincing as her sore muscles screamed in response.

“Really?” Poe paused his scrolling and met her eyes in the mirror.

“I mean, yeah,” Rey responded, “We already have such a fun free program, we don’t need to hit people over the head with it again. I want to show them that we’re good enough to handle a more grounded program.”

Poe nodded slowly, turning the suggestion over in his mind. He typed intently on his phone again as Rey stood up to her full height again to stretch her arms.

“I have a few ideas,” Poe wandered over to her, still queuing up songs on his phone.

“Do tell,” Rey tried to focus on her stretching as her partner stopped right behind her.

“People keep saying that we’re connected,” Poe rested his head on Rey’s shoulder, meeting her eyes in the mirror, “And I don’t know about you, but I think there’s some substance to that.”

Rey nodded and tried not read too deeply into his words. Or into the way he chose to stand so close to her in such a huge room. They were in the rink, discussing programs. This was strictly business.

“I think it’s mostly because we’re too stubborn for anyone else to put up with either of us,” she mumbled under her breath.

Poe laughed, warm and bright, and Rey let her lips quirk up in a little smile in response.

“Whatever it may be, I think if we’re going to go with something more serious, we can keep it grounded in that,” Poe brought his arms up and draped them around her shoulders. Rey couldn’t help but lean back into his embrace.

There had always been a casual intimacy in the way that Poe and Rey interacted with each other since they began skating together. It came with the territory; it’s easier to feel comfortable touching someone when your whole job was...well, doing just that. Poe, in particular, was a very tactile person. He loved oversized bear hugs, or putting his arm around her waist or shoulder when they walked side by side out of the rink. Rey had grown to respond in kind, both on and off the ice.

But the unceremonious touches that they shared were more complicated to Rey than they were before that night in Poe’s hotel room. Nothing had changed for Poe, obviously; he still initiated hugs and touches as if nothing had happened. As if Rey’s world hadn’t been thrown through a loop in a way that still made her feel unsteady weeks later.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Rey confirmed, “Just nothing that’s too cheesy or sappy, okay?”

Poe shook his head. “Agreed, that’s not us.”

“Alright, I’m liking where this is going,” Rey reached up and hooked her hands on where his arms were wrapped around her shoulders.

“I have one last idea, and I’m asking you to not shoot me down immediately on this, alright?” Poe asked.

“I make no promises,” Rey responded.

Poe held her gaze intently in the mirror. “I want you to lead this time.”

Rey couldn’t stop the way her face contorted in confusion. “What does that even mean?”

“I mean, when it comes to partner dance, there’s a lead and a follow, right?” Poe explained, “And it’s always expected that the guy is the lead and the girl is the follow, which is some sexist bullshit, but that’s besides the point here.”

Poe hugged her a little tighter, “I want you to be the leader this time around. You lead me, and I will follow.”

“Why?” Rey asked, voice slightly quieter than before.

“Because you have the power to do so, I just don’t think anyone’s ever given you the chance to show it before,” he replied simply, and a pang of something she couldn’t quite decipher hit Rey’s heart.

“Also, you’re a better skater than me,” Poe continued, “I’d be an idiot to not utilize that to make myself look better.”

Rey swatted at his arm lightly, “Don’t say that.”

“It’s a stone cold fact, Rey!” he insisted, “Just don’t tell anyone I admitted it out loud!”

Rey swatted at his arm again, a little harder this time.

“So are you up for it, or what?” he asked.

Rey took a deep breath, and met his eyes in the mirror again. “I am if you are.”

Poe smiled and pulled his phone from his pocket, scrolling through for a minute until a deep hum began to play from the speakers in the corner of the room.

“Is this Hozier?” Rey asked, recognizing the melody as it built.

“Yeah, Work Song,” Poe shoved his phone back into his pocket and brought his arm back around Rey’s shoulders, “He’s singing about how the love and care of this immaculate and incredible woman that gives him the power to get through his hardest days.”

Rey began swaying back and forth to the thrumming rhythm, allowing the music to slowly consume her, and Poe followed.

“This woman saved his life, and he would follow her anywhere,” Poe’s voice got softer as they swayed, bodies intertwined in the middle of this dingy dance studio. Rey made the conscious decision to switch off the part of her brain that pushed all of her feelings towards Poe away, holding that at arm’s length so that she could function and carry out her job as she needed to.

Normally, she couldn’t allow those feelings any closer than that, for fear that they would swallow her whole. But if they were committing to this program, one that told a story of an indescribable and desperate type of love between two people, she knew she couldn’t fake her way through it. She had to take the risk.

“Move with me,” Rey stated softly, but firmly. Poe complied, burying his face in her neck and swaying in time with her. Rey felt every point of connection between them like live wires touching her skin. She sank into the feeling, allowing the electricity generated between them to drive her every movement.

When this was all over, she knew she would shove these feelings back into a box and carry on with her job as usual. But for now, in this fleeting moment, she could allow herself to feel it all.

And maybe pretend that Poe was feeling the same way about her.

\-------

They take gold only a few weeks later at NHK Trophy. Rey knew that they were only able to take the top spot because the reigning world champions had dropped out at the last minute due to a back injury, and the competition was otherwise a little thin.

But she also couldn’t help the tears that came to her eyes when they placed the gold medal around her neck, enthusiastically shaking the judge’s hand as she tried in vain to blink them back. Poe held her tightly as they stood side by side, the American national anthem blaring over their heads. She leaned her head against her partner’s shoulder, trying to soak in every aspect of this moment that they had worked so hard for and commit them to memory.

And a gold medal meant a guaranteed prime spot at the gala that followed the day after.

\-------

“Shit!” Rey cried out from the locker room.

“You good?” Poe’s muffled voice came from outside.

Rey poked her head out and shook it violently. “My dress just completely split down the side.”

Poe’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Rey stepped out so he could see the damage. The seam that ran down the left side of her torso had been completely ripped as she had bent down to pull her skates from her bag.

“This is what I get for trying to squeeze into a dress from 3 years ago,” she muttered under her breath as she poked at the shredded fabric.

“Do you have a backup?” Poe asked, as a roar from the crowd already enjoying the gala that was already in motion bled through the walls.

“No, and I am not doing this exhibition in my bright yellow free dance dress,” Rey shook her head. Her eyes darted around the room, her brain running into overdrive as she tried to invent some solution to this absurd situation.

Her gaze eventually landed on the white button up that Poe was wearing. “Do you have an undershirt on?”

“Yes?” Poe answered, a little dumbfounded at the question.

“Cool, give me your shirt then,” Rey held out her hand, using the other to hold her dress together and prevent any further carnage to the fabric.

“Jesus, at least take me to dinner first,” Poe murmured as he began unbuttoning the shirt.

Rey rolled her eyes and snatched the piece of fabric from his hands, leaving Poe to stand there in nothing but a tank top and black pants.

She bolted back into the dressing room, glancing at the clock. They were thankfully one of the last teams to perform tonight, and they still had at least 10 minutes until they had to be on. But she would still have to work fast.

Rey stepped out of the locker room a few minutes later, now clad in Poe’s button up and a pair of undershorts, and a dark shade of lipstick swiped on her lips.

“Well,” she tugged at the hem of the shirt, thankfully just long enough to cover her behind, “What do you think? Stupid, or passable?”

She finally paused to look up at her partner to gauge his response. And what she found stopped her cold.

Poe was frozen as he stood and took her in. His eyes raked over her form, hungrily taking in every inch of her body, draped in almost nothing but _his_ shirt. In any other situation, the sensation would’ve made Rey want to shrink, to become so small that she could no longer be seen to the naked eye.

But instead she stood a little taller, refusing to back down from his gaze. He finally met her eyes and cleared his throat lightly.

“Can, can I just make one adjustment?” Poe asked quietly.

Rey nodded, her throat sealed shut from the sudden tension of the moment.

Poe stepped forward, only a few inches from his partner. He reached up and gently pulled away the hair tie holding up the front half of her hair, allowing the hair to fall freely to her shoulders.

He ran his hands through her hair, and Rey gasped lightly at the touch. She tried to breathe deeply and calm herself as he shook the hair loose from where it was held in a bun. But she couldn’t help but revel in the feeling of his blunt nails scraping against her scalp.

Had anyone else ever known this type of touch from him? Was there another soul out there that knew the intoxicating experience of being wrapped up in Poe Dameron like this? His wrinkled shirt wrapped around their form, their hair a tousled mess from the work of his own hands?

There had to be. Just definitely not in the same context as this. Not from being prepared for a performance by your platonic skating partner. Rey’s heart ached at the thought.

Poe finally withdrew his hands. The screaming of the crowd outside completely fell away, and all Rey could hear was her shaky breathing as she looked up at him through the mess of waves that now fell around her face.

Poe cleared his throat lightly, “Yeah, looks good.”

All Rey could do was nod.

He held out his hand to her. “Come on, we’re up soon.”

Rey took his hand, and they walked side by side into the arena.

She wished she could say that the strange moment of tension that had settled over them was just that: a fleeting moment that had come and passed. But as they stood beside each other at the boards, the tension remained.

It continued to linger as they stepped onto the ice, pushing to the center of the ice to take their starting positions.

It only grew in scope as they began moving in tandem to the music, the thick layer of suspense blanketing them as they began to flow through the program, Rey leading the charge and Poe hanging on her every movement. But it wasn’t the same type of tension that they had to conjure up for their tango. This story wasn’t a fight.

If anything, Rey thought through a haze as Poe fervently ran his hands along her torso, this is the closest thing they’ll ever get to having sex.

There was a possessiveness to the way they clutched to each other, as if each was marking their territory with the other’s body, but a softness too. A desperation to be close to one another, as if they could shield themselves from everything from the outside world if they just held each other as tightly as they could.

The song swelled to its crescendo, and Poe hoisted Rey up onto his front, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist as they clung to each other.

And before she understood what she was doing, Rey had brought her lips crashing down onto Poe’s as they spun across the ice.

The moment is brief, too brief for Rey’s liking. She could have stayed out there on the ice, holding and kissing and moving with Poe for the rest of her life and been totally content. But the program is over in a blink, leaving Rey and Poe standing front to front, staring at each other as the music faded away and the crowd began cheering loudly.

It’s then, and only then, that the penny drops.

Rey’s chest immediately clenched tight with paralyzing anxiety at the realization of what she had just done, in front of a crowd of hundreds and a legion of cameras. It could probably be passed off as a complete accident to an unknowing bystander, but she knew. She had kissed Poe, and she had done so with every ounce of purpose in her body.

The panic began to consume her in waves as she plastered on a fake smile and bowed to the arena, loosely holding Poe’s hand as they went through the motions of the gala’s ending, all of the skaters rushing the ice as streamers launched into the air. Pictures were taken, hugs were exchanged, but everything was blurry in Rey’s mind even as it was happening in real time

The walk back to the locker room was eerily quiet between the two of them. As was the process of packing their bags and preparing to leave the arena. It made Rey’s skin crawl, and only made the panic that was blooming in her chest settle in deeper.

“Hey, do you want to go grab dinner?” Rey suggested weakly, “Luke told me there’s a great restaurant down the street from our hotel that we just have to try, apparently.”

“Huh?” Poe responded, looking dazed as he looked up from packing his bag.

“Dinner,” she repeated, “Do you want to go grab dinner?”

“Oh, no, I’m good,” he responded, “I, uh, I’m just really tired. Been a long weekend, I just want to get back to the hotel and lay down, you know?”

“Oh, okay,” Rey acknowledged, trying and failing to hide the disappointment in her voice.

Poe slung his bag over his shoulder and began making his way towards the door of the locker room. He paused in the doorway and turned back towards her, and Rey braced herself for what was inevitably about to fall out of his mouth.

“Hey, so, about what happened out there?” he started, and the tendrils of panic that were wrapping their way around Rey’s chest tightened like a vice.

“Yeah, it was pretty intense, wasn’t it?” Rey tried to laugh it off, “We definitely showed them that we can handle serious stuff!”

“Yeah,” Poe nodded, “But, uh, the other thing?”

“Hmmm?” Rey looked up from her bag, praying to whatever god would listen to her that he would just drop it.

“The part where you kissed me during that last lift?” Poe said, more a question needing to be answered than a statement of events.

_Tell him. This is the moment, you can’t keep a lid on these feelings forever, it’ll eat you alive. Just tell him, Poe, I lo-_

“Oh god, that was an accident,” Rey laughed, “I completely miscalculated where your face was, sorry about that.”

Poe took a deep breath and nodded his head. “Got it. Just, uh, wanted to make sure it didn’t make things weird, you know?”

Rey nodded her head, trying to avoid the stinging behind her eyes. “Nope, we’re cool!”

Poe nodded again, and for the first time, Rey couldn’t read what was swirling behind his eyes. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t relief or ease either. All she could see from reading his face was that he was feeling something, and a lot of it. 

Maybe he was just really tired.

“Do you want your shirt back?” Rey began to unbutton the shirt to hand back to him.

“No, keep it,” Poe held out his hands to stop her, “It works for the program.”

Rey nodded and let her hands drop. “I’ll see you in the morning for the flight home?”

“See you then,” Poe confirmed, turning on his heel and exiting the locker room.

Rey took a deep breath and tilted her head back, letting the tension of the past few minutes finally dissolve away. But what was left in its wake was an immense feeling of emptiness. She had locked away her feelings for him because she knew she couldn’t lose Poe as her partner. Hell, if she lost him, she’s not sure she would ever find the desire to skate again. And even more, she couldn’t lose him as her best friend. Rey and Poe were partners in the truest sense, and they always leaned on each other and held the other one up when they were at risk of falling.

And now, as Rey stood in the empty locker room, breathing in the empty and hollow feeling that surrounded her, she wasn’t sure if they stood anymore at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, did november feel like it lasted like 2 days at most for anyone else?
> 
> once again, so sorry for the extended delay on this chapter! I sincerely feel terrible about time getting away from me the way that it did, and I am determined to never let a whole month go by between chapters again. but this one was long and had some drama and feels to it, so I hope it was worth the wait.
> 
> and again, if you're still following and reading this fic: thank you thank you thank you. I know it took a bit to get to the overt feels between these two dumb dumbs, so thank you for being so patient while I laid all that groundwork leading up to this point.
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed! see you (hopefully sooner rather than later) for the next one!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Poe hit a major obstacle while training for the Grand Prix Final.

“Everyone on Twitter thinks you two are fucking,” Finn declared as Rey walked into the gym.

“And care to explain why you were searching for our names on Twitter?” Rey leveled him with a withering glare. Finn just smirked as he continued to mop the sweat from his forehead with a towel.

“Trust me, I didn’t have to do much searching,” he answered, “That clip of you two making out on center ice was everywhere.”

Rey took a deep breath and tried to push down the rising wave of embarrassment that was crawling up her spine. “For the last time, it was an accident!”

Finn answered her with a disbelieving look.

“We aren’t fucking!” Rey threw her hands up in exasperation, “And why is that all anyone is focusing on? We made the Grand Prix Final in our first season together, for God’s sake! Why isn’t anyone talking about that!”

Rey knew she was deflecting to a certain degree. But the fact that their skating - which was already damn good and only getting better, in her opinion - was being completely brushed to the side in favor of their personal lives truly did irk her.

“Oh, Peanut, you know I’m stoked for you!” Finn ran up to her with arms outstretched for a hug, “We get to go to our first Final together!”

“No, no, no!” Rey squealed as he wrapped his arms around her, “You’re so sweaty, get away from me!”

Finn ignored her pleas for help and held his friend tightly, laughing at her over-exaggerated attempts to squirm away from him. 

“I’m so proud of you!” he sang, his best friend laughing as he spun her around. Rey threw her arms around his neck, sweat be damned.

“I’m proud of you too,” she replied as he set her back down, "So, so, so fucking proud of our reigning Skate Canada champion!"

A warmth spread through her chest as her friend smiled at the praise. The skating world was a notoriously unsteady one, constantly shifting and morphing to the point where you could be sure of something one day and questioning it the next. But if there was one thing that Rey had always been wholeheartedly sure of, through the tides of politics and new rules and cultural changes, it was that Finn deserved to be at the top of his field.

She was just glad the rest of the world finally got the memo.

“Alright, Rey, you’re up!” Rose called over from the weight bench, “And we’re starting with arms!”

Rey groaned and disengaged herself from Finn’s embrace.

“Have fun, Peanut!” he called over his shoulder as he walked out of the gym, “She’s been ruthless today!”

“Don’t listen to him, he’s just being a drama queen,” Rose whispered to Rey as she walked over to the bench. Rose handed her a set of dumbbells.

“Bicep curls, 15 reps, 3 circuits, go!” Rose instructed with a smile. Rey whined, but complied, grunting lightly as she worked her way through the first circuit.

“So, you’re serious?” Rose asked from over her shoulder, “Nothing has happened between you and Poe?”

“Not you too, Rose,” Rey groaned, not even bothering to attempt to keep the exasperation out of her voice. The rush of embarrassment that washed over never seemed to ebb or lessen, no matter how many times it crashed into her.

“I mean, come on, Rey! Have you seen you two?” Rose justified.

“Yes, in fact, I have, and I can tell you that it’s not going to happen!” Rey countered, and turned back towards the mirrored wall in front of her.

She glanced briefly at her trainer in the mirror; Rose met her eyes with a silent, but knowing look. It stuck Rey in the side like a hot knife, equal parts painful and irritating. Neither Rose nor Finn knew about the gap that had opened up between Rey and her partner ever since the performance that nobody seemed to have enough tact to shut up about.

They weren’t fighting. She’s not even sure they’d even be capable of it right now. The air between them that once sparked with light and energy was just...dead.

Their Jeopardy nights were no more, always evaded by one of them claiming to be too tired or too busy or some other nondescript excuse of some sort. Early morning car rides were blanketed by an uncomfortable silence. There was no flirtatious banter in the quiet moments between practice. And God knows they hadn’t touched that gala program ever since they returned home from Japan. They came into the rink, carried out their jobs like pure professionals, and went home without another word. Rey hated it.

But then a jolt of pain that would tear through her chest when she looked at him in the quiet moments, and remember how numb he had left her after their accidental kiss. The one thing she wanted was something that he clearly didn’t.

And in those moments, she remembered that it was easier to maintain the distance than experience that pain even more often than she already did.

They hadn’t come together to date, or fuck, or be soulmates or whatever it was Twitter was claiming. They came together to skate, and everyone needed to focus on that. Rey repeated that thought like a broken record in the moments when the hole in her chest opened so wide it threatened to swallow her whole. 

The Grand Prix Final was within reach. Everything else besides that goal needed to fall away.

“How many sets do I have left?” Rey asked quietly.

“Two,” Rose answered, “Take them slow! No cheating!”

\-------

“Alright, one more time through and we’re done for the day!” Luke called out to them from the boards.

“You said that the last 3 times!” Rey called back, bending forward to try and stretch out the kink that was developing in her back.

“And I’ll say it as often as I like! From the top!” Luke responded, signalling to Leia to get their music cued up again.

Rey grumbled and pushed to center ice, trailing slightly behind Poe as she twisted her torso back and forth, still trying to get her back to stop screaming at her.

“You good?” Poe asked in a voice that was somehow concerned and detached at the same time.

Rey simply nodded in response and met him at the starting position for their free dance. The bright, plucky piano notes rang out through the ring, and the two of them plastered on the biggest smiles their tired bodies could muster.

Rey stopped thinking whenever she started skating. Even on her most anxious days, once the music started, her mind went blissfully silent. She could just let the music flow through her like a rushing river, carrying her across the ice. No, she didn’t have to think about the movements, she could trust herself to feel them with every fiber of her being.

And that’s exactly how she felt her back give out mid-curve lift.

Her weight collapsed backwards as she attempted to change positions to stand on Poe’s thigh, and from the second her brain registered what was happening, a rush of adrenaline crashed into her nervous system like a ton of bricks. She knew that this was not going to be a clean fall, but there was no stopping this runaway train at this point.

“Shit!” she cried out, bracing herself to hit the ice and either break her skull or her wrists as she caught herself on the way down.

That is, until she felt a familiar set of arms wrap around her waist and twist her around, putting himself between her and the ice.

Poe’s head hit the ice with a sickening crack, reverberating through the rink and sending a different type of panic down Rey’s spine, while the momentum of the fall sent her skidding a few feet away. The wind was thoroughly knocked out of her, but she paid no mind to it; she couldn’t, not when Poe was lying prone on the ice only a few feet away from her.

“Poe!” Leia’s voice rang through the rink, and Luke was already shuffling across the ice as fast as his worn out tennis shoes would allow him.

Rey felt an iron cord of dread wrap around her chest as she scrambled across the ice back to where Poe was laid out like a rag doll.

“Poe,” she rasped out, still catching her breath as she kneeled down next to him, “Poe?”

“Ow,” Poe muttered, eyes blinking rapidly as he lightly touched the back of his head where it had made contact with the ice. He tried to sit up, only to be stopped by his coach, who had finally reached his spot near center ice.

“Woah there,” Luke said as he gently laid his hands on Poe’s shoulders, “Slow down, Poe, you probably have a concussion.”

“What? No,” Poe tried to reason, although the way his voice was slurring wasn’t helping his case at all, “I’ve taken falls worse than that. I’m fine, we’re fine, let’s go again.”

Luke exchanged a look with Leia, who was still at the boards. He then looked to Rey, whose face was undoubtedly painted with a mixture of fear and shock as she kneeled next to him. She wanted to touch him, comfort him, do something, anything at all to make the situation better. But she had been the reason they were in this position in the first place.

So she sat, frozen, scared to even reach a hand out for fear of somehow ruining things even more than she already had.

“Nope, you’re going to the ER, now,” Luke stated with finality.

“No!” Poe insisted, “I promise, I’m fine!”

“I’ll take him,” Rey declared, voice still shaky.

Luke nodded at her. “Leia, grab Poe’s shoes and his bag,” he called out to his sister, who was already rounding the corner to the locker rooms, one step ahead of her brother.

“And grab his car keys out of the front pocket, they’re on a Batman lanyard!” Rey added on as she and Luke gently helped Poe to his feet. Each one wrapped their arms around his middle to support the lion’s share of his weight as they slowly shuffled their way off the ice.

“We’re not really going to the hospital, are we?” Poe leaned over and whispered to Rey.

She looked up at him, incredulous. His brown eyes were empty and dilated, despite the bright fluorescent lights surrounding them. “Yes, we are going to the hospital!” she answered.

Poe let out a slow breath and hung his head. “Lame.”

\-------

It must have been an unusually busy day in the ER, because they spend most of their afternoon stuck in the waiting room. Not much conversation passed between the two of them. Poe was too groggy from his injury, his eyes unfocused as he held his head in his hands. Rey, on the other hand, was far too alert. The anxiety that had flooded her system the second Poe hit the ice never waned, and she spent the better part of 3 hours nervously bouncing her leg and checking the clock on the wall every few minutes.

At some point, Poe reached over and gently laid his hand on top of her knee, causing it to finally still. She looked over to him and was met with a weary smile.

“I’m going to be fine, Rey,” he soothed.

“Why did you do that?” she asked quietly, “Why did you throw yourself under me?”

“I’m your partner, it’s my job to take care of you,” he offered. The sincerity and simplicity of his reply hit Rey’s chest like a bullet discharged at point blank range.

“I don’t know what I would do with myself if you got hurt,” his voice became quiet, infused with a sadness and weight that caught Rey off guard. She looked to him and saw the sorrow that had settled into his clouded eyes, and the pieces finally clicked in her head.

Paige. The last time he had a fall of this magnitude was when Paige’s knee shattered into a dozen pieces and ended her career.

And he still blamed himself for not catching her.

Rey reached down and placed her hand on top of his, threading her fingers through his. It was the first touch they had shared outside of the context of skating in weeks, and Rey felt a sense of comfort sweep over her at the connection. “Thank you.”

Poe smiled and absentmindedly ran his thumb along the back of her hand. They sat like that for what could have been 10 minutes or an hour, she didn’t know at this point. Time seemed to melt in this sterile, bland room.

A nurse finally stepped out of the large, imposing door at the front of the room. “Dameron?”

\-------

Poe had sustained an MTBI, or, as Luke had correctly guessed, a concussion when his head hit the ice.

No stitches were required, much to Poe’s relief. If anyone had tried to touch his hair, Rey thought he may have started flipping tables and tried to incite a riot. They were, however, sent home with strict instructions: no television screens. No reading. Try to keep him from falling asleep, and wake him up every hour when he does for the next 24 hours.

And, above everything, no vigorous exercise for the next few weeks. Which meant no skating. No practice. No performances.

And no Grand Prix Final.

Rey’s heart sank as she turned the key in the door that led to Poe’s apartment. In one fell swoop, she had managed to send their opportunity to make history, to declare themselves as one of the top teams in the world before heading into US Nationals, up in flames.

Poe collapsed onto his couch face first, letting out a long sigh into the throw pillows.

“Be careful,” Rey lightly reprimanded as she set her bag on the floor.

“I’ve had a long day, let me be dramatic,” Poe insisted, voice muffled by the cushions.

“Fine, but I’m not dragging you back to the hospital if you do any more damage to your brain,” Rey declared, trying to ignite their usual banter in a lighthearted voice. Her attempt fell flat, and Poe didn’t answer.

Rey exhaled, and slumped onto the couch next to him. They sat there for a minute, an uneasy silence settling over them. It was so quiet the only thing registering in Rey’s ears was the blood rushing through her veins.

Poe rolled over and met Rey’s eyes. She tried to hold it together for him, knowing that she needed to be taking care of him the way he had alway taken care of her. But the sadness, the disappointment was bleeding into every fiber of her body, and tears began pricking at the corners of her eyes.

Poe pulled himself over and gently laid his head in her lap. Rey gingerly ran her hands over his curls, and he sighed softly at the touch. The silence settled over them again, more peaceful than it was only moments before.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled under his breath.

“Why are you apologizing?” Rey nearly laughed in disbelief, “I’m the reason we fell!”

Poe shrugged lightly, “I could’ve fallen better.”

That made Rey actually laugh, from deep in her belly and felt it warm her like sunlight. God, she had missed that feeling. She had missed his dumb jokes, and the comfort of his touch. She had missed _him._

“I’m really glad you're going to be okay,” Rey continued running her fingers through his hair, her touch as light as a feather, "But I'm sorry we lost out on the Final."

“Nah, I don’t care about the Final,” Poe insisted. Rey leveled him with a look, and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, I care a little about the Final,” he conceded, “But we’ve got plenty of those in the future.”

Poe reached up and caught Rey’s hand as she lifted it from his head, gently threading his fingers through hers, “You’re worth more than one competition, Rey. It’s not even close.”

Rey felt her throat start to close up. This beautiful, insanely stubborn man had quite literally thrown himself between her and a danger so great it had the serious potential to end their careers. And even after nearly cracking his skull open and spending a day in the ER, here he was yet again. Seeing her. Comforting her. Supporting her. Reminding her that she was worth it.

And, after weeks of desperately holding him at arm’s length, praying that these feelings would go away if she just pretended they weren’t real for long enough, Rey allowed the words to wash over her with complete clarity.

This is why she fell in love with him.

This was love. It wasn’t an opinion to be disputed at this point. It wasn’t a big, amorphous lump of feelings that she could run from. It was a fact that had settled into her bones with surprising comfort and lucidity.

“Thank you,” she replied in earnest, running her thumb over the back of his hand.

Poe continued to gaze up at her, eyes still hazy as he took in the frizzy mess of a bun her hair was tangled in, and the lack of makeup on her face. The dark circles under her eyes must be a sight to behold right now, she thought as he continued to stare, entranced.

“I’m going to put an Olympic gold medal around your neck,” Poe stated, the sentiment clear and firm despite how soft his voice was. It sounded like a challenge. A promise. A proposal of some sort, a small part of Rey’s brain whispered to her.

“I think we’re a little ways away from that, kiddo,” Rey responded gently.

“I’m going to do it,” he insisted fiercely, “Because you are the hardest working person I know. And because you are the best ice dancer in the field right now. And because you manage to be the most competitive and stubborn person in the sport while also being the most kindhearted and selfless person I know. And I am going to be the one who puts that medal around your neck, because you deserve it, and because I-”

Poe stopped himself, a clarity finally reaching his eyes and pushing through the haze that had clouded them all day. 

Rey’s heart pounded against her ribs at his sudden halted silence. “Because you what, Poe?”

He broke eye contact with her, clearing his throat slightly. “Because I want to win, obviously.”

Rey couldn’t help but feel a little deflated at his words, despite how positive they were. She pulled a tight smile and nodded. “We’re going to win. But first, we need to get you settled into bed.”

Poe groaned in protest.

“I’ll be here all night, waking you up every hour on the hour,” Rey promised, “I’ve been promoted from partner to night nurse, I guess.”

“Sounds like a demotion to me,” Poe mumbled as he slowly lifted himself to a sitting position. He blinked a few times, clearly still disoriented from the mild brain trauma he had incurred.

Rey patted his back gently. “Are you going to be okay to get yourself into bed?”

“If I need you, I’ll yell,” Poe answered, eliciting a slight chuckle from Rey.

He turned to look at her, a lopsided smile on his face. Rey smiled back, and gently leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. She felt him take a soft sigh, the tension melting from his shoulders at the contact.

“Get some sleep, Poe,” she murmured against his soft skin, “I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

Poe nodded and stood up from the couch. “Thank you, Rey.”

“You’re my partner, it’s my job to take care of you,” she parroted his oft repeated words back at him. 

He let out a slight chuckle, and his eyes warmed at her sentimentality. The corner of her lips quirked up as she opened her phone to set the plethora of alarms they would be needing for the night.

“See you in an hour!” she called out to him as he walked towards his room. He responded with a big, sarcastic thumbs up right before the door gently closed behind him.

Rey let out a long breath, finally alone to digest the hodgepodge of events that had made up this day. She expected to feel swept up in a flurry of emotions, but instead was met with stillness.

Maybe her system just didn’t have anything left to give, not after the emotional triathlon she had run today. That she had been running for weeks now, if she was being honest with herself. She closed her eyes and tried to grasp the facts that were tangible now.

They weren’t going to the Grand Prix Final. The injury was relatively mild. Poe was going to be okay. They would be okay in time to compete at the US Nationals in January.

And, she loved him.

Rey’s eyes popped open, and she let those words settle over her once again. She loved him. It didn’t matter if he loved her the same way, and he didn’t owe it to her to do so anyways. She knew that. Even though the thought stung, him not reciprocating her feelings wouldn’t change the fact that they were as real as anything she had ever known.

Rey loved Poe. The thought was so solid and substantial, Rey could almost reach out and pluck it from the empty air in front of her.

She stared at the ceiling and let out another long, controlled breath. “Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. she managed to let another month pass between chapters. whoops. but! I'm glad I took the pause and started another shorter fic in the meantime. I was incredibly stuck on this story, and taking a break shook the cobwebs from my brain and got me excited to write this again!
> 
> and now that I'm back on my feet with this narrative, I know that I'm ready to finish it out strong. I always had this story's ending planned, and we're approaching it now. one chapter left, followed by an epilogue. 
> 
> this is a story I always wanted to tell since the moment the idea first popped into my brain. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being patient with me and sticking by it. I can't wait to bring these these two idiots' stories to a close.
> 
> enjoy this new addition in the meantime. see y'all soon for the pentultimate chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to clear her head.

A long 24 hours later, Rey finally dragged herself out of Poe’s apartment and collapsed into the driver’s seat of her car. She turned the key in the ignition, the soft rumbling of the engine lulling her into laying her head on the steering wheel and closing her eyes briefly. Not getting any more than 30 minutes of sleep at a time for the past day really hadn’t done much to re-energize her already depleted batteries.

Yet, despite the exhaustion that was weighing down her bones, her brain buzzed in her skull. It was the type of energy that didn’t come with a good night’s rest. No, it was the one that came was purely sparked and fueled by an inexplicable rush of emotions that needed to be worked out of her body. There was one place that she knew she needed to be right now.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes to check the clock on her dashboard. 8:42 PM. Just enough time to get to the rink.

\-------

Rey shouldered open the doors to the relatively empty lobby, most of the recreational skaters who came in for the late night open skate trickling out as the rink closed down for the night. Connix, stuck stacking rental skates on the rack at the front desk, caught Rey’s eye as she attempted to sneak through the room and into the rink.

Connix raised a quizzical eyebrow at her friend. For a second, Rey isn’t sure if it’s because of the fact that she was trying to sneak into a rink where she was well known right before close, or if it’s because she’s dressed in a pair of sweatpants that were too big for her small frame, and a likewise baggy sweatshirt that had “Dameron” embroidered on its chest.

(Poe had insisted. And, when the only other option was the sweaty training clothes she still had on from practice the day prior, she hadn’t needed that much convincing.)

Rey paused, pointed to the doors leading to the rink, and then held her finger up to her lips. Connix smiled a little bit and nodded, turning her attention back to the beat up rental skates.

Rey let out a tiny sigh of relief and pushed open the doors to the now empty rink. The cool, stinging air hit her lungs and her shoulders immediately relaxed. Despite the lack of sleep that was nagging at her, she knew deep down in a place that she couldn’t explain that this was the place that she needed to be.

She shoved her skates on her feet and pushed onto the empty ice. The Zamboni had just finished making its way over the surface, ironing out the divots and carvings left behind by the classes and open skating sessions and leaving the ice as smooth as glass.

Rey watched her blades carve fresh pathways into the clean ice with satisfaction. She began pushing her way around the ice, not thinking or analyzing, just moving in whatever way her body told her to. There wasn’t anyone around to perform for, no rowdy kids to teach, no patterns or programs to refine. Just her and the ice.

This was her peace.

The world around her faded as she physically worked out all the emotions that had settled into her body the past 24 hours. All of the fear and anxiety that had wound her body tight like a spring. All of the physical and mental exhaustion that had left her feeling heavy.

All of the intense adoration and love that she felt towards her partner, that had laid deep roots in her heart and wound its way through her entire being before she understood what was happening.

All of it came spilling forward from her body, rolling off her fingertips as she moved across the ice. It was a release, one that built in scope until every one of her nerves crackled with energy like a live wire. She pulled herself into a layback spin, taking a deep breath as she opened her chest to the sky and freed the emotions that had been locked inside like birds being released from a cage.

It all flowed through her. And, finally, Rey allowed it.

Her spin slowed to a stop. She stood still on the ice, eyes closed, reveling in the feeling of being clean and open for the first time in weeks.

“Mind if I join you?” a voice broke her from her thoughts.

Her eyes snapped open to find Luke standing on the ice, leaning against the boards with his hands in his pockets.

And there were skates on his feet.

“Wha...you?” Rey’s brain tried to form a coherent thought, but the sight of Luke Skywalker on the ice threw her; it was a sight she sincerely thought she would never see again.

“You really think I went this many years without touching the ice?” Luke answered her, raising an eyebrow. Rey could only shrug in response.

Luke pushed away from the boards, “Leia and Han always kept the after hours ice open for me. I don’t want any of the kids to see their hero in such sad shape.”

“You know that you on a bad day is still worlds better than most people on their best day, right?” Rey responded

Luke shrugged, “Let an old man have his dramatics.”

He gave her a small smile and held out his hand, “Come on, it’ll be just like the good old days.”

Rey smile back and took her coach’s hand, and they began pushing their way around the ice together. A sense memory suddenly pushed its way to the front of her mind.

She’s small, at least two feet shorter than Luke, and her hand feels absolutely tiny in his. She can barely keep herself upright, tripping and hobbling over the skates on her feet. She catches her toe pick and begins falling towards the ice with a yelp, only to be pulled back upright by her coach by where he held her hand.

“I’ve got you, Rey,” Luke soothes with a smile as she regains her bearings, now grasping at his arm with both of her small hands, “I’ve got you.”

Rey looked over to her coach, the man who had practically raised her. She was a little bit taller now, and her hand no longer felt like it was being engulfed in his. But even now, as they aimlessly skated side by side, she still felt the same sense of security and affection that she did that first day he guided her onto the ice.

“Can I ask a favor?” Rey asked, unable to stop the childlike glee from reaching her voice, “Just this once?” Luke raised an eyebrow.

“Can you do a bit of Moonlight Sonata?” she asked. She still remembered the wonder she felt the first time she had seen a clip of his now legendary free skate at the 1992 Olympics.

Luke ducked his head and smiled sheepishly, “I’ll see what I remember.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, almost as if allowing himself to fall into a trance. He effortlessly pushed off his blade, throwing himself into the step sequence that Rey already had memorized by heart.

The control he had over his edges, the expression in the articulation of his limbs, the flow and ease through which he moved through the sequence; Luke was still pure magic on the ice, and it never failed to leave Rey in awe.

He slowed to a graceful stop, and Rey immediately began clapping and shouting, her voice echoing through the empty rink. Luke gave a little bow in response, and skated over to where she leaned against the boards.

“So, care to tell me why you’ve so rudely intruded upon my private ice time?” he asked, likewise leaning on the boards behind him.

“To be fair, I didn’t know this was your private ice time,” Rey deflected. Luke leveled her with a knowing look.

“Why did you feel the need to sneak into the rink, all by yourself, this late?” Luke asked again, more finality in his tone this time.

Rey cast her eyes downward, digging a divot into the ice with her toe pick. “I needed to clear my head.”

Luke raised one eyebrow. “From?”

Rey took a deep, steadying breath. She had hoped that Luke would say something in her moment of silence, maybe question her more or offer some sage advice that would answer all her questions without her ever having to answer his.

But he stood there in silence, serenely staring her down with the same knowing look. Damn him.

“I’m in love with Poe,” Rey stated simply, allowing her voice to carry the words into the universe for the first time. It was a feeling that made her feel both free, yet immensely vulnerable at the same time.

“I was hoping it was just a passing infatuation for a while there,” she continued to dig her skate into the ice as she spoke, “Hell, I banked on it. I needed it to be just that. But these feelings just weren’t going away. And after he literally threw himself between me and the ice yesterday, I realized that this was something far bigger than what I could have anticipated.”

Rey finally looked up at her coach and shrugged. “I love him. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

“I think the simplest answer would be to tell him,” Luke responded, “Is that not on the table?”

Rey immediately shook her head.

“Why?” Luke probed further, although it didn’t sound much like a question as it rang in Rey’s ears.

“This is my job,” Rey answered, “What him and I do together on this ice is my career. A career that I’ve worked my entire life for, and we’re finally gaining good traction. Traction that could get us to the Olympics. The fucking Olympics, Luke! I can’t risk that by blurring the line between personal and professional.”

Luke continued to look at her, but stayed frustratingly silent.

“I mean, what happens if I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way?” Rey asked, voice beginning to crack slightly, “Huh? What then? There’s no coming back from that. It could destroy us as a team. Then all our work will be for nothing.”

“Have you considered the alternate outcome?” Luke posited, “You tell him your feelings, and it turns out he feels the same way?”

Rey let out a dry laugh at that. Luke gave her an incredulous look.

“You seriously haven’t considered that?” Luke asked.

“Oh no, I have,” Rey replied, “And I’ve considered what happens after that. What happens if we try it out, and it doesn’t work? We have a super messy breakup and can barely stand to be around one another. Huh? What then?”

She took another deep breath, feeling her brain start to cloud with buzzing anxiety that she had just been trying to clear from her tired mind and body. "And don't try to give me a spiel about Han and Leia making it work! They're a one in a million fluke, and even still, they drive each other up the walls and are usually fighting most of the time!"

Her defensive tone echoed throughout the rink. Luke took a deep sigh as the echoes died out and silence settled over them.

“Why do you keep trying to talk yourself out of being happy, Rey?” Luke stated plainly, but the words struck Rey’s chest like a knife.

She looked up again and met his gaze. His blue eyes were still so full of youth, despite his graying hair and deepening wrinkles. And they were fixed on her with a gaze that somehow held warmth, understanding, and sadness at the same time.

“If what you’re saying is honest, then you’re afraid of telling him for fear of messing up your professional partnership,” Luke elaborated, “But I’ve seen you two in the middle of fights where you barely speak to each other off the ice. And you always manage to check that baggage at the door and pull out some incredible skating together, because you are both dedicated professionals who want to succeed.”

Luke’s knowing gaze pierced her like daggers. “It seems like your on ice partnership is strong enough to withstand whatever happens outside of the rink. And I think both you and I know that.”

He leaned forward towards her slightly. “So what’s really stopping you, Rey?”

Rey had to avert her gaze back to the ice so he couldn’t see the tears that were gathering in her eyes. How did he always manage to read her like an open book?

“Because I can’t lose him,” she admitted in a voice so small it barely registers in her own ears, “He’s my best friend, Luke. I don’t want to do any of this if I can’t share it with him as my friend.”

Luke let out a light sigh and wrapped his arm around Rey’s shoulder, pulling her into a tight hug. Rey went willingly, burying her face in the thick padding of his jacket as she steadied her breathing.

“Your grandfather was like a dad to me, you know?” Luke stated as he gently patted Rey’s shoulders with his mittened hands. She felt a pit open up in her chest at the mention of her grandfather, a wound that she had hoped would heal by now.

Ben Kenobi had been the only family she ever had, scooping her up and out of the foster system when she was a child and raising her selflessly as if she were his own flesh and blood. She had lost him soon after she turned 16, right after she had moved away from home against his wishes to follow Ben Solo to Illium Ice. And, to Snoke.

She rarely talked about that day, or about the state of their relationship when she left. The guilt was something that she had repressed for a long time, and it still stung as hot as the day she had gotten the call that he was in the hospital for what would be the last time.

“My own father and I had a very...complicated relationship,” he continued, “And when he wasn’t there, Ben was. He guided me through the most difficult and formative years of my life, and I owe him everything for that.”

Luke took Rey by the shoulders and gently pulled her away from his embrace to look her clearly in the face. “Before he died, he only asked me for one thing in return. That I look after you. Not just as your coach, but as your family.”

Rey couldn’t stop the tears that leaked out of the corners of her eyes. Luke gave her a sad, but knowing smile.

“He wanted to know that you would be happy, Rey,” Luke affirmed, “Ben gave me the task of watching over you and making sure that you got to find that happiness, and I take that job very seriously.”

He wiped the stray tears from her cheeks with his thumb. “And I think you’ve found your happiness. And I would be dishonoring Ben Kenobi if I didn’t at least try to keep you from running from it.”

“I’m scared, Luke,” Rey admitted in a watery voice, hating the way she felt and sounded like a frightened child, “What if I lose him?”

“The only way you're guaranteed to lose him is by bottling all that up and letting it eat you away from the inside,” Luke stated with finality.

Rey sniffled and nodded, swallowing the bitter pill of truth that Luke had just given to her. “Can I at least wait until Nationals are over?” she pleaded, and Luke took in a breath.

“Just so I can focus on the competition!” Rey cut him off before he could begin reprimanding her, “Nationals is going to be make or break for us as a new team, and I just want to be as focused on that as possible.”

Luke raised an eyebrow in response.

“I promise I’ll have a talk with him afterwards,” Rey acquiesced.

“What if you two make the podium?” Luke shot back, “Then you’ve got Four Continents and Worlds on your plate. Are you going to put it off to focus on those too?”

Rey let out a tiny huff. She knew that he was right, but, once again, it still frustrated her just how clearly he read her.

“I promise I’ll tell him when I feel like the time is right,” Rey offered, and Luke’s questioning look finally softened, “I’m not going to run from this. I promise.”

“Alright, I’m holding you to that,” Luke declared. His eyes softened even more, melting into something warmer and more vulnerable.

“He was always really proud of you, you know that?” he stated, voice quiet, but firm.

Rey smiled and grabbed hold of Luke’s hand where it still rested on her shoulder. “He was proud of you, too. And I know he still would be.”

Luke gave a soft, sad smile at that. His gaze drifted above her shoulder and caught the big red numbers on the scoreboard above her.

“Shit, it’s almost 10:30,” Luke grumbled, “We better get out of here before they shut off the lights.”

Rey nodded and followed Luke as he pushed his way to exit the ice. He paused at the door, turning back to look at Rey over his shoulder.

“And if you ever need your own ice time in the future, Tuesdays and Thursdays after closing are always clear,” he offered, “I only take Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.” Rey let out a smile chuckle and gave a thumbs up in response.

Even if she knew there was only one way to handle it, this situation with Poe still felt so huge and terrifying that it felt like it may swallow Rey up like a black hole. Her brain still buzzed with all the possible outcomes, the ways it could go so right or so wrong. It was going to change everything, there was no way around that. The thought made her feel as small as a scared child about to take her first wobbly steps onto the ice.

“Come on, kid, let’s go,” Luke’s voice broke through her tangled mess of thoughts.

He held out his hand, and, just as she had always trusted him to do, Rey took it and followed his lead off the ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...well, this was supposed to be the penultimate chapter! but it became apparent as I started writing it that it needed to be split it down the middle, and I found it all flowed much better as two separate chapters. so, surprise! you get a little bonus chapter! consider it my gift for being so patient with me as my scheduled lagged with writing and releasing this story. and once again, if you're still here reading this story: thank you so much, it means more to me than you know.
> 
> the next time you see me, it'll be for the second to last chapter! well, technically the last chapter, followed by an epilogue. see y'all then!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey make their US Nationals debut.

Rey wished that she could say that Nationals crept up on them, that the month in between Poe’s return to the ice and them touching down in Michigan felt like a passing blur.

If anything, it felt like a long and sometimes torturous stretch of time. And she knew that it was purely a consequence of her stubborn commitment to not telling Poe about her feelings until their first Nationals had passed. She had assumed that doing so would be easy. That she could go about compartmentalizing what she needed to in order to focus on the competition.

But Poe, in the most Poe Dameron way possible, had to go and make the task difficult for her. The affection she had for him would bubble up in her chest at even the most mundane, everyday interactions, and leave those dreaded words at the tip of her tongue.

Every time he pulled up to her apartment to pick her up for practice with her coffee order already in hand, sweetened with exactly 3 packs of sugar and a touch of hazelnut coffee creamer just the way she liked it? She had to bite her tongue to keep the words from falling out of her mouth.

When he insisted on tying and untying her skates for her for a week when she developed a terrible knot in her back that made it painful to bend forward to do it herself? Rey could feel her cheeks burn red.

The moment that came closest to truly breaking her came when he showed up to her apartment on Christmas Eve, the lightly falling snow collecting in his curls as he waited on her doorstep.

“Poe, what’re you doing here?” she questioned, genuinely confused, “I thought you were-”

“Going to see my dad,” Poe finished the sentence for her, “Yeah, I still am. In fact, I’m about to hit the road to go see him now. But, I uh…”

His voice trailed off as he pulled a small bundle from his coat pocket, and held it out to her. “I wanted to give you this first.”

Rey didn’t reach out to take it. “I thought we agreed on no presents?”

“Yeah, well, I have a selective memory sometimes,” he explained with a lopsided, charming smile that made warmth bloom in Rey’s chest. She smiled and took the package from his hands, tearing away at the messy wrapping paper. And what she found inside made her hand fly up to her mouth, staring at what she held in her hands in wide-eyed shock.

It was a framed photo of her, Luke, and her grandfather on what looked like Rey’s first day at Yavin Ice. Luke had his arm thrown around Ben’s shoulder, a wide, glowing smile on his face. Ben held a more understated and demure smile, but Rey knew that getting even the slightest hint of a grin on his face meant that he was probably overjoyed. Between the two of them, with her grandfather’s hand resting on her shoulder, was a tiny Rey, her own ecstatic smile revealing the recent loss of her two front baby teeth. And hanging around her neck, looking positively gigantic in comparison to her petite form, was Luke’s gold medal from the 1992 Olympics.

Rey remembered that day as clearly as an adult recalling childhood could, the edges of the memory softened by the passage of time, but she didn’t remember taking this photo. She didn’t know it existed until this moment, as her fingertips lightly ran over the glass where her grandfather’s face, still bright and full of light despite his old age, lay frozen in time.

“How did you…” Rey’s voice begins cracking from a combination of shock, and overwhelming emotion.

“Leia showed it to me a month or two ago, said she found it in an old file folder in her office,” Poe explained, “I figured if anyone should have it, it should be you.”

He ran his fingers through his curls, shaking loose the snowflakes that had settled into them. “It was a little beat up, so I took it to my buddy to get it restored. I think he did a decent job, but I’m not a professional or anyth-”

Rey cut him off by tackling him in a massive bear hug, nearly knocking him over to the icy sidewalk in the process. Poe laughed softly and wrapped his arms around her.

“Thank you,” Rey whispered, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes and wetting Poe’s winter jacket. She wanted to say something more, but it felt like she wouldn’t be able to find enough words to fully capture what his thoughtfulness had meant to her.

“Merry Christmas, Rey,” he whispered back, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

She pulled back and took in his face, still split in that lopsided smile that made her heart flutter. Rey involuntarily sucked in a breath, already prepared to say those wonderful and terrifying words before her brain even knew what was happening. When she realized what she was on the precipice of doing, a cold shock ran up her spine, and she quickly clamped her mouth shut.

_Not yet._

But the memory had burned itself onto her heart. Even weeks later, she could still feel the snowflakes that lightly fell onto her cheeks, and the worn leather of his coat against her cheek and how his embrace warmed her to the bone.

It came bubbling to the front of her mind even now, in a dingy hallway leading to the hallway where they were about to step onto the ice for their US Nationals debut. Her and Poe held one another in another sure embrace, being mindful of the rhinestones that adorned her deep red tango dress, eyes closed and synchronizing their breathing just as they did before every performance.

Instead of the fear that the rumble of the audience had induced only a year ago, Rey felt peace wash over her as she felt Poe’s chest rise and fall against hers. Another cheer rang out from the audience as the last pair in the group before them hit the end of their short dance.

He pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. “You ready?”

Rey opened her eyes and met Poe’s gaze, his eyes fiery as they held her gaze. The affection that had rooted itself in her chest fluttered against her ribcage, and she once again had to bite her cheek to keep the words from falling out of her mouth.

_Not yet._

“Let’s do this,” she affirmed.

He smiled. She smiled back, and felt a fire ignite in her bones. They could win this, she knew it. And judging by the light and clarity in his eyes, she could tell that Poe knew it too. She just had to stay focused on the task at hand.

He offered his hand, and she took it without a word. And, just as they had walked into this journey a little over 9 months ago, they walked into the arena side by side, joined by the hands and ready to take on the world.

Together.

\-------

They land in second place after the short dance.

The crowd erupted into applause when their scores were announced, while Rey and Poe could only stare, dumbfounded, at the screen where their scores were splayed out in bold white font. Luke and Leia had to subtly nudge the two of them out of their shock and remind them to wave at the arena full of fans cheering for them.

The rest of the day flew by in a haze, a blur of press conferences and interviews and social media posts. Rey tried in vain to grasp every moment of it, but it all felt too surreal.

And in the moments where it felt like she was at risk of being swept away in the tornado of elation, expectations and nerves, Poe would reach down and wordlessly thread his fingers through hers. She held his hand tightly, fearing she might float away if she lessened her grip in the slightest.

They were in second, but it was a close second; they lay only 2 points away from the team in first. Rey and Poe could lap them, and take gold at their first US Nationals as a team. Her brain buzzed with excitement at the thought.

“Do you want to go bowling after this?” Poe asked as he set her down on the mat, having just run through the motions of their straight line lift. Other teams were running through similar motions, mimicking the movements they were to carry out on the ice in a room that served as their warm up area.

Rey’s raised an eyebrow. “We’re twenty minutes away from performing our free dance at US Nationals, and you just asked me if I wanted to go bowling?”

Poe shrugged, his hands still loosely settled on her waist. “Gotta have something to do after we win, right?”

“Don’t jinx it!” Rey pleaded, clapping her hand over her partner’s mouth. He leveled her with a knowing look.

“Come on, Rey,” he explained as he reached up and pried her hand from his face, “You and I both know we’ve got this. You are the best ice dancer in the game, and I have enough charisma to trick people into thinking I can keep up with you.”

Rey swatted at his chest lightly. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

Poe laughed lightly and gave her waist a gentle squeeze. “I’m gonna go get my skates on, do you want me to grab yours?”

“Yes please,” Rey nodded.

“Don’t forget to stretch out your hip flexors like Luke told you to!” Poe reminded her as he started backing away towards the locker room.

Rey gave an exaggerated thumbs up in confirmation, and watched her partner disappear into the doorway.

She took a deep, steadying breath and lowered herself into a deep lunge, focusing on loosening up the aforementioned muscles in her legs. She continued breathing deeply, finding her center and grounding herself to the present moment as best she could.

“Congrats on second place,” a deep, grating voice interrupted her thoughts. She looked up to find Ben Solo looming over her, a grimace painted on his face.

“Congrats on fourth place,” she shot back calmly, still focused on her stretching.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Are we going to talk?”

“I don’t think there’s much left for us to talk about,” Rey answered, equal parts confused and annoyed at the question.

“Alright, if you want to be stubborn like that,” Ben crouched down to her eye level, forcing himself into her line of sight, “I’ll be the bigger person here.”

Rey had to stop herself from instinctively recoiling from the way he had pushed himself into her personal space.

“I can admit when I was wrong,” Ben explained, “You’ve proven yourself to be far more capable than I had given you credit for.”

Rey freezed at that. Ben Solo had never said something so outright nice to her in his life. What was he getting at?

“Thank you,” she responded curtly. Ben threw a glance over his shoulder towards the locker room behind them.

“So you ready to ditch Dameron and come back to Illium?” he suggested, voice steady and casual as if he was asking her what the weather was like outside, “Snoke said we can get rid of Gwen with no problems.”

Rey could do nothing but stare at him, dumbfounded. Was he really asking her to come back? To leave the partner who had stood by her side through the lowest point of her life, to abandon the coaches who had treated her as family even after she had done them so wrong? To forgive him for years of mental and emotional abuse and come running back because he had finally given her a tiny morsel of approval?

She knew she should feel angry. Insulted. Disgusted, even. Instead, something in her brain clicked into place, and she felt a serenity settle over her.

“Ben, what day is my birthday?” she asked simply.

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t see how that’s important right now.”

“It’s a simple question,” Rey shrugged, “We skated together for 4 years, surely you must remember when my birthday is.”

She raised a single eyebrow and leaned forward into his personal space, and felt a tiny jolt of satisfaction when he shrunk away from her. “So tell me, when is my birthday?”

Ben only sat in confused silence in response.

“And that, right there? That is why I will never come back to skate with you,” Rey explained, a ferocity bleeding into her voice with every word she spoke, “All I ever was to you was a tool to get what you wanted, and you treated me as such. You never gave a shit about me as a person. You never took the time to show me any sort of kindness, or understanding, or anything close to resembling respect.”

She leaned forward, feeling years worth of proverbial tinder finally catching spark and going up in glorious flame. “You were the reason we never worked, because you have to actually want to be a team to succeed. All you ever cared about was yourself. And it was not my job to fix you then, nor is it my job to fix you now.”

Rey finally pushed herself to her feet, and stood tall over Ben’s still hunched form. “So no, I will not be taking you up on that offer. Frankly, you can shove it up your ass.”

She began walking past him, finally ready to leave Ben Solo in her rearview mirror after having disentangled herself from his grasp for good.

“Dameron is never going to fuck you, you know that, right?” Ben shot over his shoulder, just loud enough for her to hear.

Rey turned on her heel and leveled him with a cool glare. “You never did either, despite your best efforts.” Ben’s cheeks burned red, and his eyes filled with equal parts rage and embarrassment. Rey couldn’t even pretend to deny the satisfaction she felt at the sight.

Rey felt herself finally breaking away from the orbit he had held her hostage in for the last five years, forcing her life to revolve around him and only him. For the first time since crossing his path, she was truly free to drift wherever her heart wanted to take her. “Goodbye, Ben. And good luck out there.”

She turned on her heel once again, releasing a deep breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. Poe emerged from the dressing room, her skates in his hands, and an inquisitive look on his face.

“That shithead giving you trouble?” he nodded his head towards where Ben was finally standing up and stomping to the other side of the room.

“No, he’s not,” Rey replied, and knew that she finally meant it.

Poe held out her skates to her, and a shock of adrenaline hit her system, raising goosebumps on her skin. The moment that they’ve been working for was finally here. The next time she took those skates off her feet, they could be national champions. The reality of the situation suddenly felt all too tangible, as living and breathing and real as the man who stood in front of her.

She met Poe’s, reassuring and grounding, and the static that had begun filling her head went blissfully quiet. 

“Let’s go,” she stated, and grabbed the skates from Poe’s outstretched hands.

\-------

Their on ice warm up passed by in the blink of an eye, which was unfortunate for many reasons. For one, Rey wanted to hold onto as much of these memories as she could, to take a definitive snapshot of them in her mind that she could revisit whenever she needed to.

And, most frustratingly, they’re scheduled to skate last. Meaning they have nothing to do but watch their competitors skate, and stew in their anticipation.

Rey leaned against the cinderblock wall and nervously bit at the cuticles on her fingers, being mindful not to chip the bright yellow manicure that matched her equally sunny dress. Poe paced the hallway, although the energy that radiated off of him was one of excitement; very different than the subdued anxiety that was undoubtedly radiating off of her.

Poe jumped up and down, and shook out his wrists, as if his body couldn’t contain all the energy that was coursing through it. His eyes landed on where his partner was plastered to the wall.

“Stop that,” he gently reprimanded, pulling her wrist away from her mouth, “You know that’s bad for you.”

“I’m nervous, sue me!” she defended herself. As if on cue, the audience outside rumbled with applause, punctuating the monumental precipice that they were standing on.

Rey raised her eyebrows as she held his gaze, as if to dare him to tell her to feel otherwise. Poe let out a little breath.

“Alright, come here,” Poe softly grabbed at her wrist, pulling her away from the wall and into his embrace. Rey rolled her eyes slightly, but went into his arms willingly.

“Are you setting the breathing or am I?” she mumbled as they assumed their usual pre-skate meditative embrace.

“Lead the way, my lady,” he answered, already rubbing soothing circles into her back.

Rey buried her face in the crook of his neck, reveling in the warmth that radiated from him. She breathed deeply and evenly, his ribcage rising and falling in time with hers. The nerves began to lose their edge as she felt the line between the two of them beginning to blur, now breathing and moving as one unit instead of two separate individuals.

Poe lifted his head from where it rested against her shoulder, and touched his forehead to hers.

“Permission to be a little sappy?” Poe asked, voice as soft as a feather.

“Since when have you ever asked permission for that?” Rey responded wryly, and could practically hear the smile spread across Poe’s face.

“Just don’t tell anyone you’ve made me go soft,” he shot back.

“You know I can’t promise that,” Rey answered, leaning back so she could take in every detail of his face. Poe let out a tiny laugh.

“I know I can come off as cocky,” he admitted, self aware and earnest in his confession, “Especially since we started competing together, and definitely when it's come to this competition in particular.”

He met her eyes, a raw vulnerability settling in to his gaze. “But it’s not because of me. It’s because of you, Rey.”

Rey felt that all too familiar warmth begin to bloom in his chest, and suddenly she was becoming nervous for a whole different reason.

“And I don’t say that to put pressure on you!” Poe clarified, “Please, don’t take that the wrong way. I just mean to say that I may not always find it easy to believe in myself. But nothing will change the fact that I will always, always, have faith in you.”

Poe intently held her gaze, arms still securely wrapped around her waist. Rey took a sharp inhale. Was this it? Was this the moment she’d been waiting for?

The crowd’s thunderous cheers once again bled through the walls around them.

_Almost. But not yet._

Rey lightly shook her head to herself. She couldn’t carry this into their performance; she had to let something out, or else she risked bursting at the seams. She looked up and met Poe’s eyes once again.

_How do you tell someone you love them without saying the words?_

“I never believed in myself before you, Poe,” she started, allowing the words to freely flow out of her, “Sincerely, it felt like nobody ever gave me enough reason to. You found me at the lowest moment of my life, carrying more baggage than I ever had the right to ask you to carry. And yet you still took me on, and treated me with more respect and kindness than I ever thought I deserved.”

Rey began blinking back tears, trying to be mindful of preserving her perfectly winged eyeliner.

“But now, I’m starting to believe, for the first time in my life, that I do deserve to be treated well. To be supported and respected. To believe that I am capable of and deserve great things,” she continued, “And regardless of how this competition shakes out, nothing will ever take away that gift you’ve given me. You are the best partner, and the best friend, I will ever have the privilege of knowing, and I will never be able to thank you enough for being by my side through everything.”

Rey could see Poe’s eyes get glassy with unshed tears, and let out a watery laugh. “Sorry, I guess it was my turn to get sappy.”

“No no no no no, Rey,” Poe reassured her, rubbing circles into her back, “Don’t apologize. Being your partner has been the honor of my life.”

He paused, taking a deep inhale, and the air between them began crackling with something that both excited and terrified Rey.

“Rey, I-” Poe began, only to be cut off by the arrival of a certain coach.

“Alright you two, you’re on deck,” Luke called out as he entered the hallway and strode towards them, popping whatever bubble that had begun coalescing around them. They stepped away from each other’s embrace, immediately grasping for each other’s hand instead. Rey’s mind came back into her body, and, now lighter than she had felt in weeks, she remembered what she was here for. 

“Ready?” Luke asked, and the moment in front of them was very real, and very here. There was no way to go but to push forward through it.

Rey turned her head towards Poe, who was already looking at her. A smile spread across his face, mirroring her own, and he nodded firmly. She nodded back.

“Ready,” she confirmed, and they confidently strode into the arena side by side.

\-------

They stepped onto the ice and the audience cheered, and Rey felt their energy finally spark the excitement in her core. The spark ignited into a firework display that lit up her chest as their names were announced, side by side, booming through the cavernous arena.

Kenobi and Dameron had arrived. And they were determined to walk out of here as national champions.

City of Stars began to play, and Rey floated along the smooth tones of the music, until the bright, plucky piano notes of Another Day of Sun disrupted it. Then the excitement burst forward from both of their bodies, each movement exploding on beat with the music. Poe’s smile was absolutely infectious, radiating to the back row of the arena and only causing Rey to smile wider. The audience began clapping along, and Rey nearly giggled in the middle of their midline step sequence at the joy that she felt.

She was at Nationals, and she was nailing it. But more importantly, she was skating with her best friend, and she was having the absolute time of her life.

The last note rang out, and Poe and Rey’s final pose was met with a standing ovation from the audience. Rey couldn’t decide whether she wanted to laugh or cry, so she did a little bit of both when Poe excitedly scooped her up in his arms, twirling her around center ice as flowers and tiny stuffed animals began to flutter to the ice around them.

“Thank you,” Poe whispered to Rey amidst the chaos around them.

“Thank _you_ ,” Rey whispered back with ferocity, and they finally broke apart to present themselves to the audience.

They pushed their way to exit the ice, Poe’s arm slung around her shoulders and Rey’s wrapped firmly around his waist. They had barely stepped off the ice when Luke and Leia swept them up in enthusiastic embraces of their own.

“Somewhere, your grandfather is really proud of you right now,” Luke whispered in Rey’s ear, and she couldn’t help the tear that leaked out of the corner of her eye at the sentiment.

They were quickly shooed over to the kiss and cry, where they nervously awaited their scores. Poe instinctively wrapped his arm around Rey, and she gratefully leaned into his embrace, resting her hand on his knee that began anxiously bouncing as the seconds turned into minutes.

This was it. They had left everything they had out on the ice, and now the results were out of their hands.

The numbers came up on the screen in front of them, and, although she was admittedly not great at math, Rey knew: it was enough.

They had won.

Poe let out a guttural cry as the same scores are announced across the arena, the crowd likewise erupting into roars of applause. Rey could only cry, even as Luke and Leia immediately enveloped the two of them in a group hug for the ages.

A year ago, her dreams had fallen to ashes in front of her very eyes.

Today, she was the US National Champion.

She pulled back slightly to take in Poe’s face, and saw the tears of joy running down his face too. She leaned her forehead against his, letting out a watery laugh.

 _They_ were the US National Champions. And there is no one else she would have rather earned this victory with.

“Well shit, now what?” Poe asked, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“The next few hours of your life are about to get crazy on levels you haven’t known yet,” Leia advised, standing up and motioning her students to do the same, “My advice? Find a minute for yourselves before it all hits.”

Luke nodded in agreement. “Go take a breather while they’re setting up the medal ceremony. We’ll come get you when they’re ready.”

Poe and Rey nodded, and slipped away to the nearest small, secluded corner they could find.

When they finally settled in, still holding each other’s hands, neither of them knew where to start. Instead, Rey just laughed, equal parts disbelief and elation, practically jumping into her partner’s arms once again. Poe’s laugh mirrored hers as he wrapped his arms around her, and the sound was like music to her ears.

“We’re going to Four Continents,” she whispered, giddy as a kid in a candy store.

“Fuck that, we’re going to Worlds!” he responded with the same enthusiasm.

He finally set her down, and the moment between them sparked to life again. But instead of fear, Rey felt nothing but excitement.

_Now. This is it._

“Poe, I-” Rey started, breathless from eagerness.

“I love you,” Poe cut her off, the words tumbling out of his mouth like water bursting forth from a crumbling dam, “I know this probably isn’t the moment for this, but god damn it, I am in love with you and I have been for a long time.”

Rey’s brain short circuited. There is no other way to describe how every thought flying through her brain ground to a complete stop at his words.

Of all the things she expected from confessing her feelings to her partner, the last thing she expected was being interrupted by a love confession of his own.

“And please know, you don’t owe me anything because of that!” Poe continued rambling at light speed, “I don’t expect you to return my feelings, and you don’t have to!”

“Poe,” Rey tried to cut him off, to no avail.

“I’m sorry, I just felt like I was going to die if I didn’t get that off my chest sooner rather than later!” Poe kept going, “You are my favorite person on the face of the planet and the fact that you even so much as give me the time of day is absolutely insane to me.”

“Poe!” Rey raised her voice, still trying to get him to stop talking long enough to say the words back to him.

But Poe kept on babbling. “I just had to say it, but no matter what, I can set those feelings aside because I never want to skate with anyone else but you, and I can’t ima-”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Rey threw up her hands in exasperation. She grabbed her partner’s face in her hands, and finally pulled him down into a searing kiss, hoping it would be enough to quiet him for a moment.

Not only did it quiet him, it ignited a fire between them, blazing brightly as it enveloped them both. Poe responded fiercely, wrapping his arms around Rey’s middle and kissing her back in a way that took her breath away. The world around them faded, and Rey felt the passion that had sparked between them warm her skin like beams of sunlight.

This was it. This was exactly where she wanted to be. Wrapped in Poe Dameron’s embrace, kissing his stubborn, beautiful face for the rest of time. 

They broke apart after a moment, breathless, and Rey leaned her forehead against his.

“I love you too, you idiot,” she laughed. It was absolutely surreal to finally say the words out loud.

“How long?” Poe asked, voice dazed.

“Something changed that night in your hotel room,” Rey answered, the truth spilling out of her, “But if I’m being really honest with myself, I think I had been falling for a while before that point.”

She raised an eyebrow. “How about you?”

“Honestly? The moment you told me to get my skates, get my ass on the ice, and put my money where my mouth was,” Poe responded, and Rey nearly cried all over again, “I was a goner from day one.”

“All that time and you didn’t say anything?” Rey asked in disbelief. How had he held it back all this time?

“You didn’t say anything either!” Poe shot back, voice rising in pitch and volume, “And you really couldn’t tell? Did you even listen to the song I picked for our gala program?”

“I didn’t want to ruin us as a team!” Rey defended, “You’re my best friend and I didn’t want to lose you in case you didn’t feel the same way!”

“Well what do you think I was doing!” Poe exclaimed.

“Oh shut up!” Rey once again took his face in her hands, bringing him down for another kiss. Poe smiled against her lips.

“You know, if that’s how you’re going to go about getting me to be quiet from now on, I’ll just keep talking more,” he remarked after they broke apart, a smirk plastered on his face.

Rey rolled her eyes. “I cannot believe I am attracted to you.”

“But you are!” Poe swept her up off her feet, swinging her around as she giggled into the crook of his neck, “Rey Kenobi likes me!”

She did. God, she liked him so much. And he liked her.

Holy shit, he didn’t just like her. He loved her. A wave of excitement and happiness washed over her, one that rivaled the scale of emotions that she had felt only minutes ago when their scores were announced.

“Alright, you two, get your asses out onto that podium!” Leia called out, a knowing smirk on her face as she peeked around the corner to find them wrapped in an enthusiastic embrace, “You’ve got a pair of gold medals to collect!”

Poe set her down, and they smoothed out the wrinkles in their costumes. Rey reached up and wiped away where her lipstick had smeared on his face, leading them to both giggle like excited teenagers. He entwined his hand in hers, and they strode back onto the ice, waving excitedly to the audience as they pushed to center ice.

“And now, your US National Champions in ice dance: Rey Kenobi and Poe Dameron!” the announcer’s booming voice spilled from the speakers, and the crowd erupted in cheers.

Poe led her to the podium, holding her hand as she stepped up to the top of the podium. Rey took a deep breath, trying to absorb every second of this moment that will undoubtedly go down as one of the best of her life.

She was the US National Champion, and she had won with the person she loved by her side. Poe stepped up next to her, and she took his hand in hers, this monumental moment only feeling complete with him next to her.

"Still wanna go bowling after this?" he whispered in her ear, and she couldn't help the giggle that escaped her chest.

The gold medals were placed around their necks, the national anthem blared through the arena. Poe wrapped an arm around her, and she leaned into him as they sang along.

Rey knew deep down that this would not be the last gold medal they would win. But if they never took home another medal in their career, if they chose to retire tomorrow and never touch the ice again, Rey would still feel like she won.

She loved Poe, and Poe loved her.

And no medal out there could ever compare to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the wait was worth it, folks. writing this story has been such a joy, and I'm grateful to every single one of you who took the time to give my niche AU a read. from the bottom of my heart: thank you. thank you thank you thank you!
> 
> a short epilogue will be up in the next week, and we'll wrap this story up in a neat lil bow. see y'all then!


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